🎧 I fed my satirical piece about Ealing’s democratic innovations into Google’s NotebookLM.

Two AI hosts discovered how perfectly logical it is to close children’s centres while voting yourself a 70% pay rise. They marveled at the mathematical elegance of spending £1 million on councillor allowances to save £750,000 on community services. They found it remarkable that one person could tweet about “putting people before buildings” and then close the very buildings where people access services without experiencing any cognitive dissonance whatsoever.

The AIs were particularly impressed by Ealing’s latest innovation: rewriting petition rules to prevent residents from asking follow-up questions. Democracy 2.0 - now with less democracy! Much more efficient than the old system where people could actually influence things.

But here’s the thing the machines found most puzzling: impossible things keep happening in Ealing. Communities save their Young Adult Centre. They protect their Town Hall. They refuse to accept that decisions have been made.

Mrs. Patel might just save her children’s centre too.

The Save Ealing Children’s Centres campaign is live. The AIs think this is statistically improbable. Mrs. Patel understands perfectly.

Listen, then read why resistance isn’t futile.

An artificial conversation about very real absurdities.

Also available in Punjabi:

URGENT support to fund a legal challenge to Ealing Council’s decision to close 10 children’s centres.