The Swimmer

My nine year old is on week three of his school swimming lessons.

Prior to the first lesson, he was very anxious about getting his hair wet, and getting his nose under the water. This, despite the fact that he absolutely loved the sea and the pool on our holiday last month (and last year, and the year before that).

We bought him a swimming cap, which everyone has to wear in any case. He’s got massive natural afro hair, so the first three swimming caps we bought were too small.

He was very anxious about putting on his swimming cap for the lessons. I said I would help him, as I would be there, but of course, that never happened as they all just marched straight into the changing rooms leaving me alone with my coffee-free café.

Fortunately, one of the teaching staff helps him with his cap.

So he keeps his hair dry. And after the second lesson last week, he came home and informed us that:

  • he put his nose under the water and survived
  • he wants to go swimming at the weekend
  • he wants a swimming “noodle”.

Human Shield

The school asked for a parent to volunteer to accompany the children to their weekly swimming class.

They said I could sit in the café and drink coffee. No swimming required. I volunteered.

I’m basically a fourth chaperone, in addition to the three teaching staff. I simply accompany the children to their swimming class, and back.

The class teacher gave me the two page risk assessment to read on the first morning, and I’ve taken it upon myself to stand either at the back of the line of kids, or in the middle, depending on where there is a gap of supervising adults. I try to act as a human shield on zebra crossings.

That’s it.

While the kids are having their swimming lesson, I sit in the adjacent café (which is permanently closed, by the way) with my distraction-free writing device. I get an hour a week now to write in peace. It’s wonderful.

The Door

The door was old, but it still functioned as a door. It opened and closed, and kept us safe and warm.

As it got older, it got a bit cranky and quirky.

The spring-loaded closing mechanism no longer worked as it should. If you were a small person, a cat or a delivery driver, you had to beware this big old heavy door slamming shut whether you were in, out, or somewhere in between.

Sometimes the lock wouldn’t work at all and you had to hope there was someone inside who would let you in. Mostly, it required a certain knack to unlock it. Which kept kids out, and ensured extra exercise for grown-ups getting up off the sofa to let kids in.

One day, the housing association’s sub-contractors came to take our door away. It was a fire safety hazard, according to a very expensive risk assessment they carried out several years ago in the wake of the Grenfell Fire.

They came, they saw(ed), they removed our old door in five minutes flat, leaving a gaping hole.

The new door is sleek and fancy.

“It’s a like for like replacement,” they said.

“Hmmm… the handle is on the right hand side,” I said.

“And the door opens to the left not the right.”

“I’m very unhappy,” said my wife.

“It’s not magnetic,” said my nine year old.

“Where’s they keyhole?” my three year old didn’t say, but the question must surely have been going through his mind as he tried to unlock the door on the wrong (right) side with the new key.

My three and a half year old with our old door (handle on the left on the inside)

Signs of the times…

A homeless person's makeshift bed and shelter outside a trading estate premises with apposite signs above the closed doors: Harveys "Come on in..."; Bensons "for beds"; and Dreams "The Bed Specialist".

I learnt a new word today.

Big kid complained that little kid “yeeted” his Lego Pikachu.

I had to look it up.

Yeet: to throw especially with force and without regard for the thing being thrown.

Open letter to Peter Mason

Publishing this as it’s in the public interest and I’ve had no reply to my original email sent on 1st July (Mason has, as far as I know, several personal assistants who read and respond to his emails, even if it’s just a holding acknowledgement response - I’ve had one before, as well as a next day reply, and a ’no reply at all’).

I’ve also now submitted two Freedom of Information requests to get answers to my questions.


Dear Peter,

In your open letter to Angela Fonso and CASH dated 12 July 2021, you pledged that:

“[t]he Council will not take any further sponsorship from Berkeley Group.”

I was shocked, therefore, to see the new Mayor of Ealing tweet to thank Berkeley Group for their sponsorship of an event he organised and hosted.

In your letter mentioned above, you also stated:

“I am determined to ensure that the Council’s future dealings with developers are transparent, arms-length and do not give rise to concerns that it is privileging the relationship with developers above that with residents.”

I was dismayed, therefore, to discover (from Berkeley marketing material, hand delivered, photo attached) that a Southall councillor (Cllr Jassal) and a council officer (Evelyn Gloyn, Ealing’s Community Engagement Manager) are members of Berkeley Group’s new “community engagement” steering group. This clear conflict of interest with the health and wellbeing of residents who Cllr Jassal is elected to represent does not appear on Cllr Jassal’s declaration of interests on the council website. Cllr Jassal and Evelyn Gloyn are literally standing shoulder to shoulder with Berkeley Group, not at “arms-length”, as you pledged two years ago.

I note also that various councillors have continued to attend Berkeley Group’s marketing events (sold as “community events”).

I know you have a very strong commitment to leading an open and transparent administration, and so, therefore, I ask you to tell me:

  1. the monetary value of “sponsorship” Ealing Council (councillors, officers, Mayor) has accepted from Berkeley Group since your letter of 12 July 2021, and for which events?

  2. the Ealing Council policy for councillors, officers, Mayor, for accepting sponsorship, hospitality and gifts from developers, and to ensure that the Council will not take any further sponsorship from Berkeley Group?

  3. the action you will take to prevent councillors, officers, Mayor accepting sponsorship, hospitality and gifts from developers in future, and publicly returning sponsorship already received from Berkeley Group.

  4. the Ealing Council policy for councillors, officers, Mayor, to ensure future dealings with developers are transparent, arms-length and do not give rise to concerns that it is privileging the relationship with developers above that with residents?

  5. the action you will take to prevent councillors, officers, Mayor privileging the relationship with developers above that with residents, and publicly disengaging from Berkeley Group’s profit-driven marketing schemes dressed up as “community engagement”?

Yours sincerely,

David Marsden

Personalised alarm call at 6:30 this morning as my little kid puked on my back.

Morning walk, ostensibly to source the kids’ favourite ice lollies. Mission unaccomplished.

Photo of trees lining a local street in Southall Green, on a very warm Sunday morning Photo of a car parked outside a garage displaying a handwritten "No Parking" sign in Southall Green. The front of the car is missing.Photo of trees lining a local street in Southall Green, on a very warm Sunday morning

Enjoyed plenty of sun and relatively fresh air in our communal garden today. Kids enjoyed the beach tent, but the paddling pool kept deflating (not that we had access to any water to fill it). Cleaned out our tiny “shed”, and put up wooden blinds in the bedroom as well!

View of our communal garden in early evening sunshine with beach tent set up at the far end.

Three year old playing Scrabble for the first time. First word he tries to spell is his brother Zion’s name.

Three year old hands placing Scrabble pieces spelling "oizn"