After numerous attempts at therapising my toaster (“WTF is wrong with you, you stupid machine!") I realised that it was too depressed to talk.

I put myself in the toaster’s shoes and realised it was burnt out. It was full of crumbs (golden memories of bagels, crumpets, muffins and waffles past). Attempted arson was simply its way of communicating that it couldn’t take any more.

I unreservedly apologise to my toaster for this gross defamation.

Toast in the Machine davidmarsden.info

Ten months on and bath night is getting easier.

Now all I have to do is say, “Who’s going to get in Eli’s bath first? Will it be Eli? Or will it be Dad?”

Quick as a flash he’s stripped and running to the bathroom to beat me.

Bad Santa

Big kid is getting too clever.

I got him a surprise xmas gift he’ll love and set up an online account for him in advance so it’s ready to use on the big day.

This morning he switched his alarm off on his old cheapo kids smart watch and asked me what the notification about the order is.

I played dumb, but I’m sure he’s putting it all together.

As well as being addicted to Duolingo, my lad is addicted to crumpets, and I’m his crumpet dealer.

[@spgreenhalgh](https://micro.blog/spgreenhalgh) my ten year old is addicted to Duolingo. He has a 66 day streak and is compelled to keep it going. Plus he's learnt some Spanish (which he previously hated). I'm in two minds. I don't like the addiction, but the five minutes every day is a good habit.

Getting all the wrapping done as things arrive this year. Leaving it all until xmas eve is too stressful. Easier to hide, too.

Big kid reckons that the two boxes that arrived yesterday, and that I refused to open, contained xmas presents.

His theory is that I will open them to check that they are what the kids want, then return them with a note asking for them to be forwarded on to Santa for delivery early on xmas morning.

Our little tree now has lights.

Kids were excited but chilling out now to carols.

A decorated Christmas tree is illuminated with colorful lights and topped with a glowing star, set against a background that includes an alphabet chart and a few framed photos.

Boys are having so much fun on a Portal call with their “Papa” (my Dad, their Grandad).

Kids decorated our little xmas tree, but I left the batteries in the lights all year, so they’re ruined.

I think I might have binned the star lights I usually hang in the window - a relief as they cause a disproportionate amount of stress untangling and hanging them.

“Volcano with exploding baked bean and cheese lava” for lunch.

Big kid is getting one of his five a day.

Little kid not interested (despite his love of volcanoes, lava and baked beans).

A baked potato topped with baked beans and melted cheese is served on a plate.