Apple crumble is one of my five a day, right?

Best naans in Southall Green!

At the risk of coming off like a poor man’s Gregg Wallace, I enjoy a four nut granola every morning.

As well as being addicted to Duolingo, my lad is addicted to crumpets, and I’m his crumpet dealer. @spgreenhalgh my ten year old is addicted to Duolingo. He has a 66 day streak and is compelled to keep it going. Plus he’s learnt some Spanish (which he previously hated). I’m in two minds. I don’t like the addiction, but the five minutes every day is a good habit. David Marsden https://micro.

Years ago, I would grab a Greggs sausage roll every morning for breakfast on the way into work.

Is this the end for Greggs sausage rolls?

Some more pizza prep and cooked pics. 🍕🍕🍕

Making pizza. Dough has risen once, now going back under the cling film to rise again. Used wholemeal bread flour as I didn’t have any of my usual white. Didn’t use as much semolina flour as usual, either, but what was leftover. Mainly pasta flour and some white rye. Salt, sugar, honey, olive oil all added to the mix (along with yeast and hand hot water, obvs).

“Volcano with exploding baked bean and cheese lava” for lunch. Big kid is getting one of his five a day. Little kid not interested (despite his love of volcanoes, lava and baked beans).

Breathing calmed down so went for a short walk to the corner shop with Kid A where he bought a can of baked beans with his own cash. Then we walked around the long block talking about how those beans are now his beans, what would happen to the beans if I reimbursed him with a bank transfer, what he could do with a bottomless backpack, the striking similarity between the Chinese lion adorning a neighbour’s drive wall and the Chinese lions outside the Chinese restaurant in Spilsby, and how Lime bikes are taking over the world.

Notionally returned to wfh today. ✅ Made chilli sans carne ✅ Emailed work to say I will try to ease myself back into things, but still feeling exhausted ✅ Declined work meetings on health grounds ✅ Had a three hour nap ✅ Woke just in time for a late lunch ✅ Picked kids up from school

Love this coffee. Took a couple of weeks to get used to it after the previous regular one they sent me (which was a Columbian " Milk chocolate").

My first attempt at a very simple recipe my Mum used to make fifty years ago. Little kid: “I like onion and cheese [crisps]!” Me: “Cheese and onion pie?” Little kid: " Eugh!"

This went down well with the missus!

Yesterday’s Mac* ‘n’ Cheese went down well with me and big kid. It’s one of his favourites. *Penne

SAUSAGES

Lincolnshire sausages are the finest sausages you can get. I remember as a boy, fifty years ago, my grandmother making sausages at home for the local butcher. Sometimes, she would let me feed the sausage meat into the machine and then turn the handle to push it through into the skins. A special treat then was boiled sausages for breakfast. The skins would fall off, and we ate them with white bread soaked in the soup or broth they created in the pan along with a dash of English mustard.

Add vegetables to tea. Get soup.

Every time someone mentions Croissant (for cross-posting) I hear big kid’s Mum telling him, “You can’t have croissants for breakfast every morning!”

After last week’s early mince pie tasting, I’m road-testing an approximation of xmas dinner. What’s missing?

MY CHEESE-O-METER

For the best sensation, please read this post at room temperature. Blessed are the cheesemakers. What’s so special about the cheesemakers? Well, obviously it’s not meant to be taken literally. It refers to any manufacturers of dairy products. Now, I’m going to milk this for all it’s worth, but I would question the last sentence. I’m going to stick to cheese. Not literally, of course.

Not the most attractive presentation, but it’s all about the taste sensation. Cheddar on the left. Wensleydale on the right.

I thought I’d done great with these pizzas, but big kid ate only three slices (he can usually eat all eight) and spat out his salami, little kid said he doesn’t like the sauce (it’s out of a tin, the same he usually eats), and the missus said hers was burnt and inedible (although she still ate it).

Scored this bag of Akash Gold at the local Tesco Express. Light and fluffy indeed. Chilli sans carne was amazing. Big kid gave the rice 11/10.

Achievement unlocked.

Handed my four year old a slice of ham for his lunch. “Yay! Pink chicken!” Now we know what he meant yesterday when he turned his nose up at spicy chicken and said “I like pink chicken!”

SPUDS UP!

We harvested the last three of eleven potato bags at the weekend. A decent crop, and very tasty. Highlights were regular watering and earthing up (using homegrown compost) with my kids, and big kid’s tenth birthday party where his friends got to (among other fun activities) harvest the first three bags and take home a potato bag each.​ Fond memories of going potato picking with my mum in the Lincolnshire Wolds in the early 1970s.

Unusually productive morning. taught big kid how to convert fractions into decimals and percentages and vice versa voted for Mayor of London, constituency London Assembly Member and London-wide member bought some fruit and brown baps collected big kid’s prescriptions and recycled his expired epipens got six freshly baked garlic naans from my local naan shop got some decent exercise

Nine year old said he wanted to grow some potatoes, so we planted chitted seed potatoes in bags tonight. He said he didn’t know it was so much work!

DISHING IT OUT

Following on from the pots and pans incident, my wife has decreed that the bamboo plates and bowls I bought as child-safe alternatives to our regular crockery are in fact likely coated with melamine and, therefore, toxic. She’s probably right, although only for hot food. I had noticed that my hot food tasted a bit funny using these, but I think they’re fine for sandwiches and such. She claims her eggs taste better (“like childhood”) cooked in our new stainless steel frying pan.

TOO MUCH PRESSURE

Inevitably, as I sit here in the cafe next to my son’s swimming lesson, unable to drink coffee because the cafe is permanently closed, my mind wanders and starts thinking about coffee. For most of my adult life, I’ve started the day with a cup of tea. Regular English breakfast tea. PG Tips, Tetley. Milk and sugar. Tea was always my preferred drink, but I did like a cup of instant coffee or two later in the morning, but only if it was one I liked.

BOLOGNESE!

Last week, we had a new front door fitted. That morning, I took it upon myself to prepare a bolognese before the doormen arrived so that we didn’t need to get in each other’s way, and so that we had something to eat for lunch for the next few days. I make my bolognese in a 12" frying pan and cover it with a grease splatter fine mesh to let it cook slowly for a few hours.

This is why I’m always frothing at the mouth.

First salad of the Sum…, er, Spring.

Baked bread with my little kid using my pizza dough recipe (substituted wholemeal flour for white flour). Turned out nice enough that we both ate it.

Mmm… 🥦🥬🥕🇮🇪☘️

Sarnie. White rye bread with caraway seeds, salt beef, celeriac remoulade, pickled gherkins.

Good enough to eat!

Waiting for my 🍕 dough to rise…

HP sauce in the gravy adds a sweetness and edge to the pie. The carrots and leeks roasted together are sweet and sharp, too. Little kid cried when I gave him some on his plate. He had his favourite chicken pie instead.

Grated cheese to top my Shepherd’s Pie*. Got into the habit of always using a mix of extra mature Cheddar and Double Gloucester. *Might be a Cottage Pie

Frying chips. First batch done.

Blended and warmed up leftover roasted carrots and parsnips with steamed sprouts, added instant onion gravy (in the absence otherwise of onion and garlic), salt, pepper, cumin and garam masala. Surpringly tasty with a swirl of cream.

Roasting: ❌ Turkey ✅ Chicken legs ✅ Pigs in blankets ✅ Stuffing ✅ Parsnips ✅ Carrots ✅ Potatoes Chopped and ready to boil for mashing: ✅ Potatoes Ready to steam: ✅ Sprouts Chilling: ✅ San Leo Prosecco DOC Still frozen: ✅ Aunt Bessie’s Yorkshire Puddings

First mince pie of the season!

SPECIAL XMAS LUNCH MENU

Starter: Seasonal Word Soup Main course: Roast Gobbledegook with all the trimmings including sage and EU stuffing balls Dessert: Traditional lemon biscuit Christmas Lunch Special Diet Option for Non Special Diet Registered Pupils Our catering company is offering a Christmas Lunch and for pupils who do not normally use the service and have an allergy but would like to take part in the Christmas lunch the below options are available.

Yesterday’s chilli today. 🌶️

🍕🍕

Pizza is in the oven. Can finally sit down and relax for ten minutes.

I got my 🍕 dough dough risin'. Forgot to say that I feed my yeast with malt extract rather than sugar…

Proving my yeast, and mixing pasta flour with semolina flour, strong white bread flour, dark rye flour (first time I’ve tried this), salt and olive oil.🍕

Making pizza today, so defrosting some fresh yeast. Meantime, it’s breakfast. Egg and home fries for me. Weetabix for the little one, and bagel for the big one. Big one is in the bathroom feeling nauseous because of the smell of smoked paprika.

I added a few finely chopped and fried onion pieces to my home fries for brunch. Must remember to try using smoked paprika next time.

I’m about to eat a yum yum.

STRAWBERRIES FOR PIGS?

Little did we know at the time, but these little strawberries were usually engulfed in a toxic plume of benzene, naphthalene, and god only knows what else. Sensibly, the wife refused to eat them. We later discovered that official planning documents for the nearby old gasworks, which was being dug up in the open air for new homes to be built on the contaminated land, stated that no vegetables should be grown on the land.

Eating cold turkey, ham, pork pie, Lincolnshire sausage and haslet. Reminiscing about pig’s chap, chine and brawn.

Mmmm… Redbush tea with black molasses sugar hits the spot.

NO ONIONS, BUT PLENTY OF FIREWORKS WITH BIER

Abstract: Gertcha by the wiener. Tags: fireworks, photos, video, bier, Chas ‘n’ Dave, hot dogs Last night, eight of us from Enfield Clubhouse went to Alexandra Palace to see London’s largest and most popular fireworks display. Here’s a video I took. The fireworks were pretty and spectacular - worth seeing, if you like that kind of thing! After the fireworks, we climbed up the hill to the Palace itself and queued to get into the German Bier Festival.

BONFIRE OF THE POTATOES

Abstract: Everyone needs good neighbours. Tags: Bonfire Night, Guy Fawkes, neighbours On Saturday night, I shared a bonfire - in honour of the last person to enter the UK Parliament with honest intentions - with three Bolivians (all of whom have jobs, and at least one of whom has a cat), a Pole, a Catalan, an Irishman, several English people (one of Asian extraction and one born in Africa), a Roman candle or two, a Chinese lantern, twelve Lincolnshire sausages, some French’s American mustard, a large bag of pomme de terres of Peruvian ancestry, and a guy that looked like Frank Sidebottom.

BANGERS 'N' MASH

I guess one reason I’m able to maintain my weight is all the healthy eating I’ve been doing lately. So I thought I’d share with the one or two people who come here some of my culinary creations. Who knows where it will lead? For Valentine’s Day I came up with the original and undoubtedly passionate meal idea of… sausages. Really it’s a sausage casserole (I looked at the back of a packet of Colman’s casserole mix in Tesco for the ingredients and just left out the cancer-causing stuff - not that I’m feeling superior in any way as I’m sure I’ve eaten plenty of it in the past), but I like to call it: