The voicemail asked me to call 101 and quote my call reference number.

It took three attempts to get through to a human being. I guess they really are all busy dealing with emergencies.

“‘Ello, ’ello, ’ello. What is the nature of your call today?” (Why do police officers always talk like this?)

“I reported a crime online yesterday. I got a text and voicemail asking me to quote my call reference number…”

“Is that Mr Marsden?”

“Why, yes it is!” (Impressive detective work!)

“I’m afraid the online reporting form isn’t very helpful. It sends the information to us in a way that makes it difficult to understand what actually happened. Just give me a minute while I go through it.”

[A full five minutes on hold later…]

“Hello sir. You want to report the theft of your son’s scooter?”

“Yes, that’s correct.” (By now I wanted to report the theft of what little hope I’d had left when I started dialling the call.)

“Does the school have any cctv footage?”

“Yes, they do, but they haven’t reviewed it yet, as far as I know.”

[Another five-minute intermission.]

“We’ll need to take a statement from you and your son. The earliest I can visit you is next Friday between 8 and 9 a.m., or 12 and 1 p.m.?”

“My son will be either going to school or already at school during those times.”

“What about next Saturday?”

“Yes, that would be better. My only concern is that, by then, we will have lost not only his scooter, but what little chance there was of ever getting it back or finding out what happened to it. When I was growing up, the police would have just visited the school…”

“Yes, same here. Unfortunately, we can’t just go into schools these days. But don’t worry - this case won’t just be sitting on my desk.”

Somewhere out there, Finch and Reese are watching every camera feed in New York, saving lives in real time with the help of an all-seeing AI.

Meanwhile, in my corner of the UK, a ten-year-old’s scooter vanishes in broad daylight, and the only Machine involved is caller id at the local police station.

“OK. Thank you, officer.”