Category: Kids
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The Magic Faraway Tree
Took my boys to see The Magic Faraway Tree. 📺
I always remembered my favourite primary school teacher reading The Enchanted Wood and The Magic Faraway Tree just before home time every day. I loved the idea of climbing up through the clouds into a new magical land. I’ve had my head in the clouds ever since!
My boys both enjoyed me and their mum reading the books to them, too. That’s so long ago for big kid now that he didn’t want to go to the cinema and miss out on his “device time”. So he was very pleasantly surprised and amused to find himself laughing out loud all the way through. He particularly enjoyed the school/prison scene which he said was “just like” his high school, haha!
Little kid got very excited/frightened when little Fran(nie) got stuck in the Land of Goodies and he thought she might not make it back to the ladder the the Magic Faraway Tree in time. He was shaking and jumping up and down in his deluxe reclining viewing chair. Later, he leaned over to me, clawing at me. I put my arm around him and tried to comfort him.
“Are you all right?”
I asked.
“I want to eat.”
He said.
“You want to leave?”
I asked, doing my best Saucepan Man impression.
" I want to eat, silly."
“You want your feet up?”
“DAD! I’M HUNGRY!!!
I magicked a bag of his favourite cheese and onion crisps from the darkness.
I found the whole thing very charming, funny, and really quite emotional.
I wished I’d brought more tissues with me, but it turned out that I had just enough in the end.
Little kid came over to me, sat on my knee and gazed lovingly into my eyes.
Smiling sweetly at me, he gently stroked my forehead and said:
You’re even more bald than I thought!
Little kid has been finding, photographing and naming plants at school, so we did a little homework this afternoon.
He knows what a daisy looks like, but he thought that dandelions were sunflowers. “How does the lion get in?” he asked.
Pictured: Red Robin. Dark Star. Purple Archangel.
The Art of the Deal
Evolution of negotiations with my little kid during the last week:
Me: it’s time to stop gaming now.
Little kid: * throws gaming device across floor, attempts to decapitate me with a kung fu kick to the head *
Me: how about you get in the bath, count to ten, and then you can get out?
LIttle kid: TWENTY! Twenty and I’m in!
Me: hey, do you want to make a deal and get in the bath?
Little kid: ok. I’m in.
Trigger warning.
The War for Greater Israel - Craig Murray
Having sanctioned genocide, mass killings and deliberate destruction of medical facilities and staff, the mass murder of children, as well as the kidnapping and murder of Heads of State, it is hard now to imagine almost any atrocity which the Western powers are in any moral position to condemn.
Custard Woman vs The Dark Lord
If you think America has it bad with a rapist paedophile president hell-bent on fascisting his way out of the international blackmail trap he happily stumbled into with his pants around his ankles… wait ‘til you hear about the UK’s current predicament.
Our rapist paedophile ex-prince aside, and the King’s late rapist paedophile man-of-the-people “jingle jangle” advisor aside, we find ourselves with a prime minister who thinks it’s ok to have a key political advisor who is best friends with a rapist paedophile.
Kiddie-fuckers are bad, but not so bad that you can’t stay in touch and even stay in their mansion while they’re in prison for fucking children.
Of course, its not even the kiddie-fucking that’s the problem. The problem is that the kiddie-fucker looks like he was a foreign asset or a spy. And the key political advisor passed on highly privileged sensitive information to this foreign asset.
Fuck the children! This is about national security and the national interest!
But remember, for all his faults, the key political advisor isn’t a paedophile, as far as we know.
Three strikes and we’ll chop off your broadband.
He does, however, have a history of fucking our children’s (and other poor people’s children’s) futures. He wanted to reduce aid to developing countries as long ago as 2005. And he wanted to expand Heathrow. And he wanted to cut off the internet for seven million Brits found to have downloaded copyrighted material.
Enter Custard Woman. Custard Woman bravely made some vegan custard (unusually smooth, according to her mum), dyed it green to match the green slime she imagined coursing through his’s veins, and promptly accosted him with it, throwing it right into his creepy, frightening-looking face.
To Mandelson’s credit, he brushed it off and carried on with his day. He reappeared five minutes later, custard-free, and claimed the custard was organic and non-toxic. If anything, he looked positively glowing and revitalised - as if he’d just received a hydrating facial massage and a blood/slime transfusion simultaneously. At no time did he complain of being assaulted, or of violent left-wing fascists, unlike modern-day far-right snowflake warriors. Although he did whine about a minor skin irritation on his face. Fuck him!
What brought all this on? Well I was going through my email archive to make sure I wasn’t inadvertently connected to Mandelson, Epstein, Savile or any other kiddie-fuckers or their friends. I a spirit of openness and transparency, this was all I found.
This, and a couple of messages from my fellow not a podcasters. One saying how creepy and frightening Mandelson’s facial mannerisms are. The other saying he is “worse than a bronchoscopy”.
Little kid is back into space big time again. He’s been playing Universe Sandbox and watching all the associated videos. He keeps going off on long and technical descriptions of planets and their orbits, ending up by describing a planet that is “habibabububble”. It’s reached the point very quickly now where he does it deliberately and purely for laughs. It’s our favourite in-house stand-up running joke.
Today, on another matter entirely, I was interviewed by a proper journalist about a massive housing development in Southall. After my usual rambling spiel about broken promises and toxic land, I said, “One question you might want to ask the developers and the council is how many affordable homes there will be. Because in the planning permission it’s not clear at all. In fact, they don’t mention affordable homes at all, only rooms that are habibabububble.”
Trump bombs Iran, Iraq, Yemen, Somalia, Nigeria, Venezuela, kidnaps Venezuela’s president and his wife, threatens Colombia, Mexico, Greenland (and NATO); sets up “Board of Peace” and invites UK to join.
UK Foreign Secretary: Putin.
UK holds off joining Trump's peace board over Putin concerns: bbc.com
