Trump bombs Iran, Iraq, Yemen, Somalia, Nigeria, Venezuela, kidnaps Venezuela’s president and his wife, threatens Colombia, Mexico, Greenland (and NATO); sets up “Board of Peace” and invites UK to join.

UK Foreign Secretary: Putin.

UK holds off joining Trump's peace board over Putin concerns: bbc.com

Little kid’s shadow.

Two red canoes and one yellow canoe are resting on the grass near trees and a fence.

I know it’s been said before about Donald Trump, that he’s like a six year old child, but this morning I heard one of little kid’s new classmates talking and bragging about his xmas presents. He even had Trump’s distinctive New York accent (which at first I thought he must be mimicking, but it must be where he lived before he moved here).

“I gotta Nintendo Switch. It’s VERY GOOD. Nintendo Switch TOO. Better than Windows. Windows is VERY BAD. If anyone steals my Switch, I’m gonna STEAL THEM. I’m gonna take out their EYEBALLS!”.

Big Kid and the Umbrella

Big kid had lots of big ideas.

He wanted a big house so all his friends and family could stay and play together.

He wanted a big school so everyone could learn everything they needed to know.

He wanted a big hospital so that everyone could get the help they needed when they needed it.

But most of all, he wanted a big umbrella. In particular, he wanted his granny’s umbrella that she was going to throw away. The umbrella was very old, like an antique. In fact, it was Grandad’s old umbrella. Grandad had sadly died when big kid was a baby. He had cancer. Even though it was very old, and very dusty, big kid really wanted this umbrella. It was a shame to throw it away. And at school they had learned all about reusing old things and not sending them to landfill sites that poison the earth. And it was part of his family’s heritage. And, oh my god, it was BIG! It was a golf umbrella. Not that Grandad played any golf. But he did go on lots of walks in the rain to fetch things for Granny and get him out from under her feet. And now big kid could walk to school and back in the rain without needing to wear a big bulky coat that he would have to carry around with him all day. It would be perfect!

Big kid pleaded with Granny and his mum and dad, and eventually got his way (mum didn’t want “more junk in the house”, so the umbrella lives outside in the communal stairway). Granny is very pleased, and dad gets to use the umbrella, too, sometimes, when he collects little kid in the rain. It’s much better than those silly little umbrellas that snap and collapse in the wind and barely keep your shoulders dry.

Big kid is now very popular at school when it rains at home time. He’s always late home as he provides a sheltered taxi service home to all his friends. They all huddle together under his big umbrella and they walk each other home until he’s the last one and he walks home with his big umbrella all to himself.

Here’s where the story ends.


But in a parallel universe, big kid’s big umbrella becomes a source of envy. Bigger kids want it, and one big kid in particular has no problem taking it. He moves in, full of superficial charm, “Hey kid, nice umbrella! Wow, that’s such a big umbrella, kid. It would be perfect to keep me and my friends dry when it rains. Here, have some Haribos. They’re Tangtastic, your favourites. Let’s walk home together with my friends.”

Bigger kid has lots of stories to tell about how much better he is than everyone else, and, in particular, how much worse everyone else is, and why. “But me and you, we’re the same. We have my Haribos and my big umbrella. We’re a team!”

Big kid doesn’t really know what’s happening but he goes along with it because he doesn’t really have any choice. Bigger kid could just take his umbrella and leave him in the rain to get wet. Bigger kid could take away his Haribos. Big kid’s friends no longer talk to him, but that’s ok because they all soaking wet anyway, and bigger kid’s friends are all kind of bigger and drier. Although they do eat all of big kid’s Haribos. And big kid is no longer big kid. He’s little kid.

Soon, little kid’s big umbrella gets damaged and there’s a hole in it. The bigger kids were messing around with it pretending it was a sword. They stabbed a tree with it. Now not everyone is keeping dry in the rain and some people are getting very wet. Arguments start. Little kid’s umbrella is no longer a source of unity and pride among friends. It’s become a source of conflict and suspicion.

“Some kids are making us wet and need to be kicked out!” they shouted.

“That little kid is making us wet!” said bigger kid. “Kick him out!”

Now little kid has stopped having ideas. They’re dangerous. Bad. Crazy. Like him.


Things could have got better. Or worse.

Little kid’s dad noticed he wasn’t himself and he told his dad everything that happened. Dad spoke to the teachers at school. The grown-ups had some meetings.

Bigger kid told a pack of lies. He said little kid gave him the umbrella. He said little kid stole it from him. He said little kid broke it to stop bigger kid using it. Bigger kid said little kid was stealing his Haribos and selling them to bigger kid’s friends. Bigger kid took the umbrella back to protect it from little kid so that everyone could use it.

Bigger kid’s dad brought bigger kid round and made him say sorry.

Next time bigger kid saw little kid he punched him in the face.

The streets of Southall and the road to hell…

Jack Frost visited overnight and left some beautiful souvenirs on car windscreens this morning.

The pavements, however, are treacherous.

I saw a number of little kids slide and tumble on the way into school. As we climbed up and over the canal footbridge and approached the invisibly icy downward steps to the school side, we all received a text message from the headteacher asking us to be mindful of the slippery conditions. Distracted by the beeps and buzzes in our hands, on our wrists and in our pockets, we all reflexively reached out, shifted our focus and fell like lemmings over the edge of the top step and down into a crumpled, groaning heap of legs and arms, shouts and cries. Well… Not really. We all carried on like the battle-hardened school-runners we are and dragged, coerced, danced and sang our recalcitrant little ones into class as usual. It could have been worse.

Intricate frost patterns resembling delicate feather-like designs cover a cold surface.Intricate patterns of frost create a delicate, feather-like design on a surface.

I am bleeding

“AND I WOULD HAVE GOTTEN AWAY WITH IT, TOO, IF IT WEREN’T FOR YOU PATHETIC, SINISTER, CHILDISH, MORONIC TYRANT CLOWNS!!1!”

Auto-generated description: A security personnel is interacting with protesters during a demonstration, as described in the accompanying tweet.

Auto-generated description: A tweet from Steven Barrett criticizes a railway's barrier system, including photos of the barriers, and labels the situation as pathetic and childish. Auto-generated description: A person with long hair is posting a selfie and claiming they were physically assaulted by staff, asking others to retweet.

The framing of this “story” is very interesting, to say the least, for all sorts of reasons.

New archbishop urged to scrap £100m slavery reparations: bbc.com

Certainly one of my favourite little kid masterpieces this year.

A small abstract painting on a colorful, splattered surface is surrounded by various blobs of bright paint and mixing tools.A colorful, abstract representation of planets and stars on a dark background with white streaks resembling space.

Carrots, parsnips, stuffing balls and mash (not pictured) all prepared and cooked today, ready for tomorrow.

A tray filled with honey-glazed roasted root vegetables, including carrots and parsnips, seasoned with Herbes de Provence.A muffin tin holds twelve golden-brown sage and onion stuffing balls with a textured, rustic appearance.

…these are great songs… Poetic, mystical, and marvellous… songs that should have been hits in any era of modern music.

Dave Franklin at The Big Takeover.

One of many amazing reviews of hovercraft’s new album Blown Away.