I think I was taking Tramadol for pain relief when I wrote this:

Both sets of players would be awarded (honorary) knighthoods for their part in simulating Barnsley versus Grimsby Town at a freezing cold Oakwell on New Year’s Day in the late 1990s/early 2000s and no doubt the two managers would be encased in marble as a living testament to their obduracy.

The World Cup on Drugs: Pure-Grade Heroin Cut With Shavings of Clive Tyldesley