OFFICE ABANDONED - SUN STOPPED WORK Today’s office.

• davidmarsden, https://davidmarsden.info/2024/05/08/todays-office.html

Today’s office.

Nine year old said he wanted to grow some potatoes, so we planted chitted seed potatoes in bags tonight. He said he didn’t know it was so much work!

THRIVING?

My son’s school’s Thrive teacher is leaving. She helped transform my lad’s experience of school from being one where he had weekly if not daily challenges with regulating his emotions and his behaviour, to one where he enjoys school every day. She’s going to be very greatly missed. I managed to tell her this today and thank her for her work. It was so sad to hear her story. She has committed ten years of her life to helping our youngsters get the best start in life, and done lots of extra work getting accredited to do so.

CURRICULUM VITAE (HOCUS POCUS)

Inevitably, my time as a Manchester University player came to end, and I left the club by mutual consent when my contract ended. Somewhat bizarrely, looking back on it, I joined what appeared to be an obscure and tiny religious cult in the middle of nowhere (deepest, darkest Lincolnshire), dabbling in some rather questionable therapy / witchcraft. My role was primarily as Administrator with responsibility for making sense of the almost entirely lacking paperwork, contracts, and financial arrangements of the company (?

CURRICULUM VITAE (AD ABSURDUM)

I spent most of my three years ‘working’ in Manchester down the pub. When I was in my shared smoke-filled office, I was more often than not playing a very early demo of football manager (four free seasons, on repeat), or compiling a regular comedy fanzine for the five-a-side footy team I helped to found and run. They were crazy and fun times. Every other weekend, I got a train back to Lincolnshire for band rehearsals, recordings and occasional gigs.

CURRICULUM VITAE (AD NAUSEAM)

After failing to become the next George Harrison, I spent three years idling around, getting into trouble, and generally not knowing what to do with myself. I had some summer jobs working on a local farm stacking straw bales on to lorries from Cockermouth, feeding turkeys, and working in the grain barn (doing what I can’t remember, although I do remember not being able to breathe because of all the dust).

CURRICULUM VITAE (REPETITUM)

Following on from my success delivering the news to my local community, I took a break from the world of (very part-time) work to focus on… playing in my first bands. And learning to play the guitar. Much of which came at the expense of any interest in or motivation to study, or revise for ‘O’ Levels, and later ‘A’ Levels. Living in a small rural market town, some of my friends, and my own younger brother, in fact, had Saturday jobs bush beating - literally (as far as I know) beating bushes to encourage game birds to fly to their sporting deaths.

CURRICULUM VITAE

I’ve had a long and winding career in the fields of work and education. At one time, I was doing quite well, but it all got a bit too much and it’s been a bit of a struggle since. Which is a shame, because it would have been nice if things had turned out better. I was never really suited to work. It’s almost always felt like a real imposition, a drag, and a massive downer.

ERROR 55 - INTERNAL COMMUNICATION PROBLEM

Boss: Can you order a new printer for the office? Me: Sure. orders a new printer for the office Office: Did you order a new printer for the office? It’s arrived. Me: Yes, I’ll come over and set it up. Office: No need, we already moved the printer from the other office. And we have a tech person coming in Monday to set it up.

IMPOSSIBLE JOB

Last week, my boss asked me to produce a professional looking ten page job profile for a potential new appointment. He provided me with an example from another employer, and asked me to use the same format. He wanted me to find some suitable photographs “online” to use. This was all outside of his skillset. And mine. He wanted it “by tomorrow” (Wednesday), and gave me the text he’d written for the first page, as well as the headings he wanted to use for the remaining pages.

PAY RISE

I haven’t had a pay rise since April 2017. Taking into account the cost of living increases year on year, and especially in the last year or two, I’ve effectively taken a pay cut every year. To be fair, I was thankful to have a job at all during and after covid. Thanks to Kate Morley’s historical UK inflation rates and price conversion calculator, I now know how much I should be earning if my pay had kept up with inflation.

Waiting for account verification emails from Companies House is like the proverbial waiting for a bus. Nothing for ages, then four come all at once.

CORPORATE SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY

In my work email. As part of our Corporate and Social Responsibility, we are running a digital poverty mission to “Connect The UK”. We have already purchased 40,000 brand new Tactus GeoBook laptops and have donated over £2.5 million in device discounts. These laptops come fully loaded with Microsoft Windows 10 Pro Education, a 3 year warranty and are discounted to just £84 per device. They’re £80 each on Amazon.

RETURN TO WORK

I returned to work last week after my extended absence due to respiratory illness, which may or may not be related to three years of breathing the poisonous gasworks' air. I find I now have to literally climb over two rough sleepers camped outside the door of my workplace in order to get in. There is no more space in the nearby doorway, and the doorway around the side entrance is similarly occupied.