Just for clarity, while he no longer has enormous testicles, he’s still very definitely a boy.

Little kid is five today. Job done according to his mum. At least I’m no longer getting peed on.

Little kid is five today. Job done according to his mum. At least I’m no longer getting peed on.

This has gone semi-viral on Threads. Weird.

Mum gave me £40 to buy two haddock, one chips, and three peas from the chippy. I gave her £20 back and said, “don’t be daft.”

£20.40!!!

A street scene features a row of shops including a fish and chips restaurant, with parked cars and a person sitting on the sidewalk.A fish and chip shop interior features a menu board listing various fish, chicken, pie options, and drinks, along with colorful canned drinks on the counter.

Mum gave me £40 to buy two haddock, one chips, and three peas from the chippy. I gave her £20 back and said, “don’t be daft.”

£20.40!!!

A street scene features a row of shops including a fish and chips restaurant, with parked cars and a person sitting on the sidewalk.A fish and chip shop interior features a menu board listing various fish, chicken, pie options, and drinks, along with colorful canned drinks on the counter.

Macc Lads.

Auto-generated description: A speed limit sign displaying the number 10 is partially covered by a small sticker reading SILKMEN BOYS ON TOUR.

Almost-five year old happily repeating his new favourite word: “TITS!”

Soon-to-be-eleven year old, “Stop it! You can’t say that word!”

Parents: “Hold on. Where did you learn that word?!”

Morning walk.

Auto-generated description: A small blue and white boat named Rainy Day is moored on a tranquil canal lined with trees and other moored boats.

Sat on a tree stump for a few minutes enjoying the sunshine, breeze, and sights and sounds by the canal.

Hellish morning so far.

Little kid’s porridge was “too hot” so I stirred in some cold milk. Then it was “too milky” so I drained the milk with a sieve. Finally it was “too lumpy” so I put it in the food waste bin.

Then big kid’s “wasn’t right” so his went in the bin, too.

Little kid made the card at school and one of the parents handed out Happy Eid bags to the kids as they left for home.

Two Eid cards, one blue with a yellow crescent and star, and the other in black and gold with elegant writing, are displayed on a polka-dotted tablecloth.

Big kid has been eating porridge every morning for a few weeks, which means ten minutes of stirring the pan for me every morning. I don’t mind, I like doing it. So much so that I invested in a Scottish spoon this week to make it easier on my hand, wrist and arm.

Today, in a scene reminiscent of Andy and his carer in Little Britain, he jumped out of bed at 6:30 am ran into the kitchen and proceeded to slice a bagel in half, toast it and butter it all by himself.