WHAT YOU WRITING FOR?
I was in Hounslow, west London last year. I went to a cafe in a leisure centre. I’m not proud of it, I was volunteering with my son’s school. And I’m alone, I’m not eating or drinking and I’m writing in my notebook, right? Teacher walks over to me: “Hey, what you writing for?” Isn’t that the weirdest fucking question you’ve ever heard? Not what am I writING, but what am I writing FOR?
Read moreBAD SANTA
Big kid is getting too clever. I got him a surprise xmas gift he’ll love and set up an online account for him in advance so it’s ready to use on the big day. This morning he switched his alarm off on his old cheapo kids smart watch and asked me what the notification about the order is. I played dumb, but I’m sure he’s putting it all together.
Read moreAs well as being addicted to Duolingo, my lad is addicted to crumpets, and I’m his crumpet dealer. @spgreenhalgh my ten year old is addicted to Duolingo. He has a 66 day streak and is compelled to keep it going. Plus he’s learnt some Spanish (which he previously hated). I’m in two minds. I don’t like the addiction, but the five minutes every day is a good habit. David Marsden https://micro.
Read moreGetting all the wrapping done as things arrive this year. Leaving it all until xmas eve is too stressful. Easier to hide, too.
Read moreBig kid reckons that the two boxes that arrived yesterday, and that I refused to open, contained xmas presents. His theory is that I will open them to check that they are what the kids want, then return them with a note asking for them to be forwarded on to Santa for delivery early on xmas morning.
Read moreBlood test results suggest I’m in imminent danger of heart attack, kidney failure and cancer.
Read moreI don’t understand how people think Joe Biden is a good guy. He’s probably done more than anyone to drag the political centre to the right, and paved the way for fascism. Suggesting that pardoning his drug addict son is somehow good and righteous is obscene. Blaming smartphones is laughable.
Read moreOur little tree now has lights. Kids were excited but chilling out now to carols.
Read moreBoys are having so much fun on a Portal call with their “Papa” (my Dad, their Grandad).
Read moreKids decorated our little xmas tree, but I left the batteries in the lights all year, so they’re ruined. I think I might have binned the star lights I usually hang in the window - a relief as they cause a disproportionate amount of stress untangling and hanging them.
Read more“Volcano with exploding baked bean and cheese lava” for lunch. Big kid is getting one of his five a day. Little kid not interested (despite his love of volcanoes, lava and baked beans).
Read moreBreathing calmed down so went for a short walk to the corner shop with Kid A where he bought a can of baked beans with his own cash. Then we walked around the long block talking about how those beans are now his beans, what would happen to the beans if I reimbursed him with a bank transfer, what he could do with a bottomless backpack, the striking similarity between the Chinese lion adorning a neighbour’s drive wall and the Chinese lions outside the Chinese restaurant in Spilsby, and how Lime bikes are taking over the world.
Read moreBYE BYE BIDEN
Some highlights and thoughts from Yesterday’s Man: The Case Against Joe Biden by Branko Marcetic 📚 Against Biden’s best efforts, disaster had been averted. (p. 127) This seems to sum up his career neatly. Far from the popular public image that he has cultivated and that the media have happily gone along with for the most part. Foreign policy “I’m not going to start World War Three for you!
Read moreLooking at The Royal Observatory in Greenwich for my space obsessed four year old. No under fives! (They do have a special “Ted’s Space Adventure” for 4-7 year olds, but it looks naff and he wants to see the real thing.) @Denny @antonzuiker my four year old is obsessed with the solar system and Jupiter in particular. He would love this! David Marsden https://micro.blog/davidmarsden/50470595
Read moreNotionally returned to wfh today. ✅ Made chilli sans carne ✅ Emailed work to say I will try to ease myself back into things, but still feeling exhausted ✅ Declined work meetings on health grounds ✅ Had a three hour nap ✅ Woke just in time for a late lunch ✅ Picked kids up from school
Read moreMe: Dinner’s on the table! Little kid: I’m just painting Mars!
Read moreDUA LIPA'S TINY DESK CONCERTS
Dua Lipa’s Tiny Desk concert at home in between covid lockdowns in 2020 is the most watched Tiny Desk concert ever. Which doesn’t surprise me at all as we must have watched it literally hundreds, if not thousands, of times. My little boy absolutely loved it, and even me and big kid secretly liked it, too. Love Again is my favourite. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .
Read moreON JOURNALING
I wrote this a week ago. My last journal was over a week ago, last Saturday. I’ve had a week off work with a really bad cough, wheezing, shortness of breath. Generally feeling better these last couple of days, but also still coughing. Last two days I had coughing fits in the afternoons leaving me dizzy, and exhausted. I haven’t slept well some nights either, due to coughing, wheezing and breathlessness.
Read moreJON BATISTE'S TINY DESK CONCERT
Jon Batiste, like Alicia Keys, is a supremely talented musician and performer. This is another must watch Tiny Desk concert from 2019. This is another video my little kid enjoyed watching, singing along to (before he could talk), and dancing to with his big brother (before falling asleep). Don’t it make your soul shake? .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .
Read moreALICIA KEYS' TINY DESK CONCERT
If you haven’t seen and listened to Alicia Keys' Tiny Desk concert (Feb 2020) then I highly recommend that you do, even if - or especially if - you think she’s not your thing. This is a video my little kid loved to sing along to before falling asleep for a mid-day or afternoon nap. We all just wanna be shown some love .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.
Read moreMy first attempt at a very simple recipe my Mum used to make fifty years ago. Little kid: “I like onion and cheese [crisps]!” Me: “Cheese and onion pie?” Little kid: " Eugh!"
Read moreLIVING AND BREATHING
I have vague memories of seeing Florence + The Machine on the BBC at Glastonbury, possibly in 2009. She was the big new thing, breathlessly jumping around all over the place, climbing up the gantry, as she showcased her debut album Lungs. Lungs album cover photoshoot stills - Tom Beard 2009 Or maybe it was 2015. Ship To Wreck sounds so familiar and like it would have caught my ear.
Read moreI recently read: How to Write One Song by Jeff Tweedy (of the band Wilco) 📚. It’s full of practical if fairly obvious tips on how to write and get your creative muscles going. Here’s a poem I wrote based on two books I regularly read to my little kid at bedtime.
Read moreThis lovely tree by the bridge over the canal near my kids' school at Toplocks is gone.
Read moreIt’s so cold this morning, when I got back from dropping the kids at school I had to do the washing up just to warm my hands up.
Read moreStarmer is proving to be every bit as reckless and depraved as Johnson.
Read moreYesterday’s Mac* ‘n’ Cheese went down well with me and big kid. It’s one of his favourites. *Penne
Read moreWife reckons she has kidney failure due to her high blood pressure. She says her kidneys are due to expire in 2074.
Read moreSAUSAGES
Lincolnshire sausages are the finest sausages you can get. I remember as a boy, fifty years ago, my grandmother making sausages at home for the local butcher. Sometimes, she would let me feed the sausage meat into the machine and then turn the handle to push it through into the skins. A special treat then was boiled sausages for breakfast. The skins would fall off, and we ate them with white bread soaked in the soup or broth they created in the pan along with a dash of English mustard.
Read moreMACHINE OF INTEREST
I asked The Machine to review my review of Person of Interest
Transcript
Read moreThe more his curiosity took over, the less control he had
Read moreEvery time someone mentions Croissant (for cross-posting) I hear big kid’s Mum telling him, “You can’t have croissants for breakfast every morning!”
Read moreI wrote 300 pages of notes and reflections in my personal and work journals in 90 days.
Read moreFour year old every few seconds: “WHAT. THE. HEEE-EEEELLLLLL???!!!”
Read moreBig kid has written a list of all the things that make him angry. Top of the list is bananas.
Read moreNOT FAKE NEWS
Convicted felon, fascist and fake news king, the 45ᵗʰ President of the United States paid the porn star ‘stormy Daniels’ hundreds of thousands of dollars not to tell anyone that she had sex with him. Last night, she appeared on a Channel 4 US election special with disgraced former UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson, who was there to plug his memoir “Unleashed.” Daniels wanted to know if Johnson had any children, and wondered if Johnson would leave his daughter alone with Trump.
Read moreHATS OFF!
Sat on a bench in a children’s playground, a older couple approach me. The man is wearing a Union Jack bobble hat, points at my cap and says, “Were you in Vietnam?” Now, I’ve heard this or similar many times online, always from Reform, but never in person. “It’s The Clash”, I said. “London Calling.” “And Jeremy Corbyn. For the many, not the few.” “Oooh! Jeremy Corbyn! We wouldn’t be in this mess if he was in charge!
Read moreCOPD
Last week I received confirmation of a diagnosis of chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) based on results of spirometry tests back in August (it took that long for my GP surgery to get the results from the test centre, and only after my own intervention after their repeated failures). My GP helpfully seemed very keen to blame my twenty-odd year history of smoking. I first smoked at about age 20. My parents were smokers (wasn’t everyone back then?
Read moreI thought I’d done great with these pizzas, but big kid ate only three slices (he can usually eat all eight) and spat out his salami, little kid said he doesn’t like the sauce (it’s out of a tin, the same he usually eats), and the missus said hers was burnt and inedible (although she still ate it).
Read moreDIGITAL LEADER
Hoping we found a good solution to help big kid’s Digital Leader application. He found it difficult to focus and get his head around answering the questions in a sensible (let alone helpful) way. Instead, I recorded him speaking about the devices and tech he uses, how he helps his little brother and his parents to play games, and how using new apps like Duolingo has helped him to learn Spanish (when previously he hated Spanish lessons).
Read moreBunk beds built.
Read moreThis morning, and quite possibly this afternoon, I will mostly be assembling a flat pack ‘shorty’ bunk bed ensemble for the kids.
Read moreBig kid is applying to be a Digital Leader at school. In his application he wrote, ‘I want to be a Digital Leader because computing has inspired me to do what I do best. Which is computing.’ And, ‘I would be a goodgreat Digital Leader because I have infinet gigabyts of space."
Read moreScored this bag of Akash Gold at the local Tesco Express. Light and fluffy indeed. Chilli sans carne was amazing. Big kid gave the rice 11/10.
Read moreFUNNY OLD GAME
In the good old days, football was a simple game. You had eleven players and a substitute numbered 1 to 12, no shirt advertising, a referee and two linesmen, a manager, a trainer, a physio, a scout or two, tea ladies, drinking culture, long hair and perms, the club chairman, a board of directors, a club secretary, a groundsman, a stadium in the beating heart of the town or city, fans, standing room only, electric atmospheres, matches on Saturday at three o’clock, live coverage on the radio, match reports in the Pink Final after the game, and highlights on Match of the Day at 10:30 the same night.
Read moreAchievement unlocked.
Read moreHanded my four year old a slice of ham for his lunch. “Yay! Pink chicken!” Now we know what he meant yesterday when he turned his nose up at spicy chicken and said “I like pink chicken!”
Read moreSPUDS UP!
We harvested the last three of eleven potato bags at the weekend. A decent crop, and very tasty. Highlights were regular watering and earthing up (using homegrown compost) with my kids, and big kid’s tenth birthday party where his friends got to (among other fun activities) harvest the first three bags and take home a potato bag each. Fond memories of going potato picking with my mum in the Lincolnshire Wolds in the early 1970s.
Read moreWell, the super secure new lock on our super expensive new front door failed catastrophically today. I couldn’t get my key out of the lock. We couldn’t lock the door. The local locksmith arrived within fifteen minutes, diagnosed the problem (“you need a new lock, £180”) and proceeded to spend the best part of an hour removing the broken extra secure lock (finally, reminiscent of the birth of my second son, “it’s out, I’ll have to charge a bit extra…").
Read moreBig Kids' Sports Day.
Read moreMy polling station was empty when I went to vote around 1:30 pm. My nearly ten year old looked at the TWELVE names on the ballot. “Don’t vote Labour, Dad”. He looked some more. “There’s Joe!” he said. “VOTE FOR JOE!”
Read moreELECTION FEVER
My inbox is full of people asking for my opinion and personal experience of this UK general election campaign and who to vote for. (Un)fortunately, as I sat down to type the words from my fingertips, my four year old decided he needed to express his thoughts instead. It’s obviously not to scale (he’s only four!), but you can clearly see the Labour supermajority in red, and the Tory wipeout in blue.
Read more“…when you look at it on a personal level, if Nelson was your friend or your neighbour, you would absolutely agree that he should be given the immediate right to settle.” You. Absolute. Bastards. If anyone knows of a crowdfunder to support this man’s legal challenge, I would like to contribute to it. https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-merseyside-69016539
Read moreOne of the reasons we never visit the place where I grew up. “I just have to share?”?
Read moreI’m so glad I ate my salad before reading about the Eunuch Maker.
Read moreTWO LITTLE DUCKS
Along with thirty-odd other parents, I saw my nine year old off on his big adventure this morning, a school trip away to Wales for three nights. Everyone was super excited and nervous, and so were the kids. The teachers accompanying them were super-organised. We’d had several in-person meetings prior, as well as countless Dojo messages and crumpled lists stuffed into school backpacks telling what to pack and what not to bring.
Read moreSTOP THE PLANES
My wife was born in Uganda. She’s Black, like our kids. She came to the UK when she was five. She’s just told me she feels like she should put herself on a plane to Rwanda. Then she said she realised she came here legally, she has indefinite leave to remain, and she’s a British citizen. I asked her what was it that made her feel like she should deport herself.
Read moreA local shop owner asked why big kid wasn’t at school. When I told him it was closed because it was being used as a polling station we got talking about the elections. He asked me who I voted for, and then he told me he thinks “it’s going to be another hung parliament”.
Read moreUnusually productive morning. taught big kid how to convert fractions into decimals and percentages and vice versa voted for Mayor of London, constituency London Assembly Member and London-wide member bought some fruit and brown baps collected big kid’s prescriptions and recycled his expired epipens got six freshly baked garlic naans from my local naan shop got some decent exercise
Read moreYesterday morning I took my little kid to see his best friend Lorenzo. Yesterday afternoon I took my big kid to see his best friend Lorenzo. Both Lorenzos live at number 13 and (perhaps less surprisingly) have Italian mothers. Our town is 95% BAME.
Read moreNine year old said he wanted to grow some potatoes, so we planted chitted seed potatoes in bags tonight. He said he didn’t know it was so much work!
Read more4 year old was born four years ago today, funnily enough.
Read moreZack, 35, says: “I got pretty disillusioned after I found myself consistently matching with anti-Zionists, even when I set it to ‘Jewish only’.” Zack put an Israeli flag emoji on his profile to rectify the situation. “It’s annoying because the more creative personalities I normally go for tend to be more anti-Israel.” Now he’s having fewer awkward conversations about the conflict, but the people he’s matching with are “less interesting”.
Read moreCan’t remember the last time I wore a watch. My nine year old wants it. Timpsons fitted a new battery free of charge.
Read moreJOURNALING
My nine year old started keeping a journal at school so we can read what he’s been doing at school every day. (Replaces the “What did you do at school today?” “Can’t remember” alternative). It’s terrific. He wanted to know what I’ve been doing, too, so I am reciprocating. I’ve never kept a diary a journal before, but I’ve enjoyed doing it these past couple of days. It’s fair to say, though, that my lad’s days are far more interesting and fun than mine.
Read moreBATH NIGHT
My little kid (now two months from being a not so small four) has gone right off the idea of having a bath at all in recent weeks. It takes two of us to get him in and give him a quick shower every couple of days. To get him into the bath tonight, I tried something new. I got on all fours so he could ride me like a horse into the bathroom while I hummed the theme tune to The Lone Ranger.
Read morethe Biden administration does in fact have tons of leverage it can use to stop the genocidal massacre in Gaza, it just doesn’t want to because it would be “politically unpopular” and because “Biden himself has a personal attachment to Israel.” How has Israel managed to kill some ten thousand Palestinians in Gaza without managing to do any real damage to Hamas if Hamas fighters are hiding amongst all those civilians?
Read moreMy kids were more interested in my egg timer app, which cock-a-doodle-doos when the eggs are ready, and bashing the egg’s head in than eating them.
Read moreViking dress up day.
Read moreLAST WORDS
These are my last words writing from the café at the local leisure centre where I go every Wednesday during term time as a parent volunteer for my son’s swimming class. It’s their final session today. My lad has gone from being so anxious about swimming that he didn’t want to go at all, to wanting to go for swimming lessons now the class sessions are over. The café that was closed has reopened, although I still haven’t bought anything.
Read moreCURRICULUM VITAE (MEMENTO VIVERE)
Having been so bitterly rejected both in love and at work, I started to look around for new opportunities. I don’t remember how I found it, but a nursing home nearer to where I lived at the time (Cleethorpes) was advertising for a Therapeutic Activities Co-ordinator to develop a range of meaningful activities with frail elderly people who also had -iirc - impaired memory, or dementia. Right up my street (well, just around the corner).
Read moreTHRIVING?
My son’s school’s Thrive teacher is leaving. She helped transform my lad’s experience of school from being one where he had weekly if not daily challenges with regulating his emotions and his behaviour, to one where he enjoys school every day. She’s going to be very greatly missed. I managed to tell her this today and thank her for her work. It was so sad to hear her story. She has committed ten years of her life to helping our youngsters get the best start in life, and done lots of extra work getting accredited to do so.
Read moreTEACHERS
Yesterday morning, I was sat in the foyer of my little kid’s children’s centre waiting for the staff to arrive so he could start his day. He was eager to get in, banging on the locked doors to the main part of the nursery. In my day, the kids would be trying to get out, not in. Some other parents, younger than me, commented the same. Everyone recounted some particularly, sadistic child-hating teacher who regularly brutalised them or some other poor unfortunate during their formative years.
Read moreCURRICULUM VITAE (AD ABSURDUM)
I spent most of my three years ‘working’ in Manchester down the pub. When I was in my shared smoke-filled office, I was more often than not playing a very early demo of football manager (four free seasons, on repeat), or compiling a regular comedy fanzine for the five-a-side footy team I helped to found and run. They were crazy and fun times. Every other weekend, I got a train back to Lincolnshire for band rehearsals, recordings and occasional gigs.
Read moreTORYBOY
ToryBoy The Movie is the account of filmmaker John Walsh’s disillusionment with what he saw as the corruption, lies, hypocrisy and general incompetence of Blair’s Labour government, and his conversion to the Conservative (Tory) Party general election candidate for Middlesbrough in 2010. Under his own steam and £15,000 of his own money, John found his opponent, Sir Stuart Bell, the serial incumbent Labour MP, invisible and unknown to his local constituents who nevertheless voted him back in every four or five years (albeit with an ever diminishing majority).
Read moreCURRICULUM VITAE (REPETITUM)
Following on from my success delivering the news to my local community, I took a break from the world of (very part-time) work to focus on… playing in my first bands. And learning to play the guitar. Much of which came at the expense of any interest in or motivation to study, or revise for ‘O’ Levels, and later ‘A’ Levels. Living in a small rural market town, some of my friends, and my own younger brother, in fact, had Saturday jobs bush beating - literally (as far as I know) beating bushes to encourage game birds to fly to their sporting deaths.
Read moreThe last three movies I watched all had the same ending: a daughter reunited with her father. 🍿 Blader Runner 2049. Blonde. 12 Years A Slave.
Read moreERROR 55 - INTERNAL COMMUNICATION PROBLEM
Boss: Can you order a new printer for the office? Me: Sure. orders a new printer for the office Office: Did you order a new printer for the office? It’s arrived. Me: Yes, I’ll come over and set it up. Office: No need, we already moved the printer from the other office. And we have a tech person coming in Monday to set it up.
Read moreBREAK IN TRANSMISSION
Last week’s swimming lesson was cancelled, and the week before that, we went away for half-term. To a very wet and wild north-east Lincolnshire right by the sea (or the Humber Estuary). With no wifi, and very poor data connectivity. In a tin can caravan. But we all had fun, and the kids got to spend time with their grandparents who live nearby. And use their wifi. On the night before we left I met up with a couple of my oldest and best friends, Murray and Aaron, who I hadn’t seen for ten (Aaron) and thirty (!
Read moreFRANK
Frank was my great grandfather on my dad’s side. I only met him a couple of times. One time, me and my brother were made to wear the most ridiculous and embarrassing outfits, and we just felt very uncomfortable and ill-at-ease meeting this very old man from another time. He was born in the early 1901. So he must have been 80 or so when we met him. Not so old these days, but back then he really was like a dinosaur, or a fossil.
Read moreGETTING DRESSED
My three and a half year old is going through that stage where he doesn’t want to get dressed in the morning to go to nursery. I remember with my oldest lad some mornings I used to be in tears trying to get him ready. Fortunately, their mum is now working from home and has taken on this task with the little one. My main job now is to remind my nine year old to “sit at the table and eat your breakfast” every two minutes.
Read moreHAIRCUT
My nine year old had a trim the other day. No one else can really tell, but his massive afro isn’t quite so massive as it was last week, and certainly a little less knotted. Should make it easier to get his swimming cap on. His mum cuts his hair. We took him to a barber’s when he was younger, and I literally had to hold him down while the barber did his work.
Read moreCATWOMAN
Last week, we had a visitor. Catwoman appeared, to save the day! All the way from leafy Surrey, she turned up in her Porsche 4x4 and catsuit to catch our community cats and take them to the vet “because they have cat flu”. With her ten year old assistant, and cat trap, she tried for (what seemed like) hours to catch a cat, or a kitten, to no avail.
Read moreIMPOSSIBLE JOB
Last week, my boss asked me to produce a professional looking ten page job profile for a potential new appointment. He provided me with an example from another employer, and asked me to use the same format. He wanted me to find some suitable photographs “online” to use. This was all outside of his skillset. And mine. He wanted it “by tomorrow” (Wednesday), and gave me the text he’d written for the first page, as well as the headings he wanted to use for the remaining pages.
Read moreCOMMUNITY CATS
Just around the corner from my lad’s school by the canal is a cul-de-sac which is home to some “community cats”. Having spoken to a few of the people who live there, it seems that none of the seven or eight cats and kittens have homes or owners, but are looked after by the people who live there. So they’re not strays, but they’re not feral, either. They’re community cats.
Read morePLAY STREET
We used to play in the street outside our home as kids growing up in the 70s. In rural Lincolnshire. Of course, it wasn’t a main road, it was the road on our council estate. Pretty much everyone had a car, and many of the houses had their own garage. In London, or Greater London, it’s generally not safe for kids to play in the street, although we’re lucky where we are that our little cul-de-sac can double-up as a relatively safe enough play area most of the time.
Read moreCLASS
Thinking about Maths at school, got me thinking about the origin and meaning of class. It’s a classic word, and means so many different things depending on the context in which it’s used. Its Roman origin relates to the dividing up of society, or groups of people for war or military objectives. My Latin teacher at school was obsessed with lining up the desks and chairs at the end of each lesson.
Read moreDISTRACTION
It’s easy to get distracted. My nine year old told his mum last night that he was so distracted by thoughts in his head at school that the teacher gave him a blank piece of paper and a pen to “download” everything in his mind. All he could think about was Super Mario and Nintendo. Well, it was Maths. I always liked Maths at school. Mainly because there was no homework, or writing, or revision to do.
Read moreTHE SWIMMER
My nine year old is on week three of his school swimming lessons. Prior to the first lesson, he was very anxious about getting his hair wet, and getting his nose under the water. This, despite the fact that he absolutely loved the sea and the pool on our holiday last month (and last year, and the year before that). We bought him a swimming cap, which everyone has to wear in any case.
Read moreHUMAN SHIELD
The school asked for a parent to volunteer to accompany the children to their weekly swimming class. They said I could sit in the café and drink coffee. No swimming required. I volunteered. I’m basically a fourth chaperone, in addition to the three teaching staff. I simply accompany the children to their swimming class, and back. The class teacher gave me the two page risk assessment to read on the first morning, and I’ve taken it upon myself to stand either at the back of the line of kids, or in the middle, depending on where there is a gap of supervising adults.
Read moreTHE DOOR
The door was old, but it still functioned as a door. It opened and closed, and kept us safe and warm. As it got older, it got a bit cranky and quirky. The spring-loaded closing mechanism no longer worked as it should. If you were a small person, a cat or a delivery driver, you had to beware this big old heavy door slamming shut whether you were in, out, or somewhere in between.
Read moreSigns of the times…
Read moreI learnt a new word today. Big kid complained that little kid “yeeted” his Lego Pikachu. I had to look it up. Yeet: to throw especially with force and without regard for the thing being thrown.
Read moreOPEN LETTER TO PETER MASON
Publishing this as it’s in the public interest and I’ve had no reply to my original email sent on 1st July (Mason has, as far as I know, several personal assistants who read and respond to his emails, even if it’s just a holding acknowledgement response - I’ve had one before, as well as a next day reply, and a ‘no reply at all’). I’ve also now submitted two Freedom of Information requests to get answers to my questions.
Read morePersonalised alarm call at 6:30 this morning as my little kid puked on my back.
Read moreMorning walk, ostensibly to source the kids' favourite ice lollies. Mission unaccomplished.
Read moreEnjoyed plenty of sun and relatively fresh air in our communal garden today. Kids enjoyed the beach tent, but the paddling pool kept deflating (not that we had access to any water to fill it). Cleaned out our tiny “shed”, and put up wooden blinds in the bedroom as well!
Read moreThree year old playing Scrabble for the first time. First word he tries to spell is his brother Zion’s name.
Read moreLittle kid turned on his Amazon Fire “Kids” tablet. A game asks him to enter his date of birth to play. He types in “1234”, et voilà!
Read moreBig kid: “Dad! Dad! I killed the Ender Dragon, and I wasn’t even looking!” Me: “What are you doing?” Big kid: “Twerking backwards.”
Read moreFirst salad of the Sum…, er, Spring.
Read moreUNDER POISONED SKIES
Watched Under Poisoned Skies on BBC iPlayer last night. It’s the sad and shocking story of children in Iraq dying from leukaemia as a result of toxic air pollution from mega rich oil companies burning off excess natural gas in the open air near their homes. Benzene (found in the air) and naphthalene (found in the children’s urine samples) are the main carcinogens. Levels of benzene are between 3 and 9.
Read moreSOUTHALL RESIDENTS TO GIVE BLOOD SAMPLES
After six years of campaigning for justice: “The fact that gas used to be manufactured from coal has been lost to the public consciousness, but the chemical legacy remains.” “These communities already have multiple disadvantages with air pollution, overcrowding and poor housing. This is another burden being placed on them.” Via: Scientists to examine health fears at west London luxury development
Read moreREADING FOR PLEASURE
Two years ago my then six year old took what turned out to be a permanent break from the daily fifteen minute Easyread lessons he’d been doing for six months to catch up on his reading. When he started, he couldn’t and wouldn’t read. At the weekend he asked to go to the library where he chose a book by his favourite author. The following two mornings he read a chapter to himself before breakfast instead of watching TV.
Read moreBaked bread with my little kid using my pizza dough recipe (substituted wholemeal flour for white flour). Turned out nice enough that we both ate it.
Read moreHORSESHIT PARADE
I visited the Palace of Westminster this week with my big kid on an educational school trip. It was a very cold, wet and windy day, and we were patriotically under-dressed and sans brollies. We took a good lashing from Mother Nature. The tour of the Houses of Parliament was cool, dry and stuffy, and the little radio headphones we were given so we could hear better were sub-optimal. The House of Commons was closed to ordinary commoners like us, but the House of Lords was open as long as we refrained from parking our cold, wet and windy working class bums on our superiors' ‘holier than thou’ red leather benches.
Read moreFinally got around to watching Our Friends In The North. ‘None of the issues the show mines so brilliantly – from inequality, deindustrialisation and the parlous state of Britain’s housing to homelessness and the corruption of our public officials – have gone away.’
Read moreBig kid’s current favourite song.
Read moreMy little lad’s current favourite song.
Read moreTOP O' THE MORNIN'
Showing my age this morning. I ‘heard’ my wife say, “My First Vegetables!” as our little boy chose a new TV show to watch. I ‘saw’ a picture of a broccoli on the screen. I got a broccoli from the fridge (along with some carrots and a cauliflower) to show him and keep it real. 🥦🥬🥕 Turns out the show is called “My First Festivals, Series 2: 4. St Patrick’s Day”, and the picture was a shamrock.
Read moreMade pancakes, with assistance from kids. No one liked them except me. Win-Lose-Win.
Read moreSarnie. White rye bread with caraway seeds, salt beef, celeriac remoulade, pickled gherkins.
Read moreFronted adverbials excepted, gotta love my kid’s school!
Read moreSolidarity with all teachers today, especially those striking for better pay. Eight year old is at home, and refusing to practice for his spelling test tomorrow because he doesn’t want to be a scab.
Read moreBig kid with the tree he planted at his school.
Read moreLittle kid was vomiting every hour from 6pm until midnight last night. Slept until 6am, kept down a piece of toast and a cup of water, then had his breakfast proper. Now has his boots on and ready to go out in sub-zero temperature!
Read moreI hadn’t realised until today that they are building a new park with “viewing mounds” (similar to those at Northala Fields?) beyond Glade Lane park.
Read moreLittle lad at the park this morning. He’s had a good day and week, then just before bed tonight started vomiting. Poor little thing. And us.
Read moreBig kid’s school storage units.
Read moreSchool caretaker this morning gritted the playground before we all arrived, and helpfully marked the still frozen large puddles with hazard cones so that the kids knew exactly where the best ice patches were for skidding practice.
Read moreBig kid woke up with a sore throat and didn’t want to go to school. Gave him paracetamol and told him he should spend the day in bed to recover. Half an hour later he bounced back into the living room with “I’m back”.
Read moreHP sauce in the gravy adds a sweetness and edge to the pie. The carrots and leeks roasted together are sweet and sharp, too. Little kid cried when I gave him some on his plate. He had his favourite chicken pie instead.
Read moreBig kid is worried that the small glass of Baileys (use by date 10/2021) might kill Santa…
Read moreCut my hair short with clippers today. Big kid said, “Why did you cut your hair? I can see your head!”
Read moreUnpacking grocery delivery without thinking, and big kid asks, “Is that wrapping paper?!”
Read moreLittle kid is totally captivated by this delightful story. youtu.be/DPfClnEK3…
Read moreMy kid’s teacher gave everyone a book for Xmas, which is an amazing thing to do. According to my lad, everyone’s book was different… I think he’s been well and truly rumbled! Kids' books: Fame! by Alan MacDonald 📚
Read moreTHE PROPERTY LOBBY: THE HIDDEN REALITY BEHIND THE HOUSING CRISIS IN EALING
There will be 14,800 new homes in 23 new developments in Southall over the next few years. 14 units over 10 stories high, and 7 over 20 stories high. Up to 40,000 new residents (and their cars)! One third of the total new developments in the whole of Ealing borough (only Acton is getting it worse). So not happening so much in the ‘white’ or richer areas of the borough, for some reason.
Read moreFirst mince pie of the season!
Read moreSPECIAL XMAS LUNCH MENU
Starter: Seasonal Word Soup Main course: Roast Gobbledegook with all the trimmings including sage and EU stuffing balls Dessert: Traditional lemon biscuit Christmas Lunch Special Diet Option for Non Special Diet Registered Pupils Our catering company is offering a Christmas Lunch and for pupils who do not normally use the service and have an allergy but would like to take part in the Christmas lunch the below options are available.
Read moreLittle one is hot and refusing wear clothes. I’m cold and am bundled up in a jumper, and even a dressing gown, which I hardly ever wear normally.
Read moreAll the boys are poorly today. No more fevers, but bad coughs, and none of us has an appetite. Should be a fun day!
Read moreChristmas tree and lights up. Boys did most of the tree decorating. Much quicker and less stressful than previous years.
Read moreKIDS' STUFF
I have successfully replicated this study at home, and can attest to its reliability and validity. An ethnographic study in Madrid charted the gradual “take over” by the child (accoutrements like toys, furniture, and special foods, and the removal of “dangerous” or breakable items) of the domicile, leaving less and less “adult” territory (Poveda et al. 2012).' The Anthropology of Childhood: Cherubs, Chattel, Changelings by David F. Lancy 📚
Read moreBoth boys are staying at home today. Big kid bounced into school yesterday after recovering from two days of fever, cough and sore throat, but didn’t eat his lunch. Think he’s just tired. Little kid has a raging temperature, but eating ok.
Read moreBoth boys are staying at home today. Big kid bounced into school yesterday after recovering from two days of fever, cough and sore throat, but didn’t eat his lunch. Think he’s just tired. Little kid has a raging temperature, but eating ok.
Read moreGot soaked the skin collecting big kid from school (who, it turns out, ate and drank nothing all day…). Last time I got this wet was on my way to record this interview for the BBC… https://youtu.be/CGGyCDAHRt4
Read moreGot soaked the skin collecting big kid from school (who, it turns out, ate and drank nothing all day…). Last time I got this wet was on my way to record this interview for the BBC…
Read moreBig kid better, back at school. Little one sat on my lap chuntering away with a fever. https://davidmarsden.info/2022/11/27/strep-throat-and.html
Read moreBig kid better, back at school. Little one sat on my lap chuntering away with a fever.
Read moreLittle one is a good few months behind with his talking. Putting the grocery shopping away this morning, he spotted something*, went over to Mum and said, “Come on!” Took her to the object of interest in the kitchen and said, “What’s that?!” *🍫
Read moreStrep throat and scarlet fever reported at my son’s school. That might explain Kid A’s sore throat, cough and temperature…
Read moreStrep throat and scarlet fever reported at my son’s school. That might explain Kid A’s sore throat, cough and temperature…
Read moreToddler can now peel his own bananas.
Read moreKids rearranged all the furniture last night to recreate the space rocket from Wallace and Gromit’s ‘A Grand Day Out’. Zion is wearing his space suit and helmet, and holding some space poop, which can heal wounds
Read moreIt’s started.
Read moreLittle one ate his usual two Weetabix for breakfast. Now he’s sat on my lap helping himself to my cornflakes.
Read moreAn hour after both kids are usually asleep, they’re both still up and currently rearranging all the furniture in the living room.
Read moreTV dinner.
Read moreReligious leader phoned my lad’s school today to feedback on their visit yesterday. I have never met children who were so knowledgeable about my faith.
Read moreLittle one went for a blood test at the hospital this morning. Paediatric outpatient ward was lovely - calm and welcoming - and he was seen straight away. Nurse was brilliant and my boy was as good as gold. In and out with no fuss at all. NHS at its best.
Read more“Once in a generation opportunity to look behind the scenes at the replacement of the lock gates at Lock 94, Grand Union Canal, Ealing. Saturday 26 & Sunday 27 November 2022.” canalrivertrust.org.uk Canalside @ Glade Lane Park UB2 4PG
Read moreLad has returned safe and sound from a school trip to a religious centre. Asked what he enjoyed most about the day he said: There was no learning!
Read moreThese boots were made for splashing.
Read moreWASHED UP
✅ Made breakfast and packed lunch for Kid A. ✅ Dropped Kid B at nursery 😭. ✅ Dropped Kid B at school. ✅ Collected kids' clothes from store. ✅ Listened to the end of The AbsoluteLee podcast and the start of The Prince of Aberystwyth while sitting in traffic. ✅ ☕ and breakfast. ✅ Prepared chilli con carne. ✅ Work call. ✅ Unblocked bath drain. ✅ Received grocery delivery. ✅ ☕.
Read moreIt’s obviously good that David Baddiel has finally apologised in person for his racist abuse of footballer Jason Lee twenty-five years ago. That he did it on his new TV show should boost viewing figures substantially with a helpful knock on effect for sales of his book.
Read moreFive hours sleep is enough for my two and a half year old, for now at least, so he’s sat on my lap chitter-chattering away while eating hot buttered toast and drinking cold milk.
Read moreMaking pizza today, so defrosting some fresh yeast. Meantime, it’s breakfast. Egg and home fries for me. Weetabix for the little one, and bagel for the big one. Big one is in the bathroom feeling nauseous because of the smell of smoked paprika.
Read moreWife is eating fish and chips while watching Korean soap on her tablet, while our little one sits on my knee eating chips and watching Sesame Street on TV. Big one is fully immersed in Minecraft.
Read moreKids did these paintings with Mum this morning while I had a lie-in.
Read moreEarly lunch with my little one. Pie, chips and mushy peas!
Read moreMy eight year old has watched so many US kids' TV shows that he now self-identifies as American.
Read moreHIGH TRAFFIC NEIGHBOURHOOD
Took me an hour (as opposed to 10 minutes) to drive my lad home from school this afternoon, thanks in part to the High Traffic Neighbourhood (‘Improving access for HGVs’) in Southall ‘Green’. Like a rat, I tried the side streets and back roads option and found those to be jammed, too, and Scotts Road - although confusingly still two-way throughout - is now No Entry from the eastern end.
Read moreA SUCCESSFUL HOME DELIVERY AND THE LOCKDOWN/LOCK-IN.
My second son was born late Saturday night (what would normally have been my beer night) two weeks ago, after a short, but intense, labour. He was delivered at home by two brilliant midwives, who were fully protected courtesy of customised #tinap bin bag aprons, unused clean air protest dust masks, and disposable gloves my wife stocked up on back in February when – without any scientific advice whatsoever – she somehow accurately foresaw the current coronavirus global pandemic somehow reaching the UK’s shores (and airports).
Read moreINCONSIDERATE CONSTRUCTOR
Lorry driver on his phone while leaving ‘Southall Village’ building site, right next to school entrance during school run. Got a load more verbals from the driver and his colleagues on site - ‘Did he hit anyone?’, ‘He doesn’t work for us!’ All part of the Considerate Constructors Scheme, aka Couldn’t Care Less Scam.
Read more12 week old son just laughed properly for the first time. Now he can’t stop.
Read moreBaby son is one month old. Feels like we’ve had him five minutes and forever.
Read moreWHATEVER HAPPENED TO... JIMMY CARTER?
A little under three years ago I eulogised about Jimmy Carter (the footballer, not the peanut farmer) in a musical response to 20lb Sounds eulogising about Jimmy Carter (the peanut farmer, not the footballer). I wondered why Dan, the band’s Liverpool-supporting singer-songwriter, had neglected the opportunity to write about a player who is widely acknowledged (from a cursory search of fan forums) as one of Liverpool’s worst ever signings? Two years later (thanks to the wonder of the internet, and possibly also the wonder of Doug Whitfield and his Music Manumit Podcast), I received a reply:
Read moreTeaching REM’s The One I Love to 7 yr old. Had to change the words to ‘The One-Eyed Bug’.
Read moreUNITED, BORN AND BRED: SUPER GLUE MACARI
The only United match I’ve been to in recent years was last season’s FA Cup tie at home to Spurs, courtesy of E.on’s sponsorship and their Family Football initiative. I went with a couple of my ‘clients’ from work, had a great road trip and fantastic all-round experience. One’s a Spurs fan, and I know he felt a mixture of joy and anxiety sat in amongst all the United fans (even in the Family stand) when Spurs went 1-0 up.
Read moreRED MISSED: HOW STEWART HOUSTON AND GORDON HILL MADE ME ANGRY AND DEPRESSED
United’s FA Cup tie with Wolves last weekend and Auntie’s ‘flashback’ (Rio Ferdinand?), reminded me to finally get around to posting a few of my own memories, originally prompted by George Best’s sad demise in November. George had quit United long before I can first remember watching them. But Best remained an important part of my United life - the school chant was “Georgie Best, Superstar, He walks like a woman and he wears a bra!
Read more