The Last Screw

Another DIY victory to add to my ever growing list.


Auto-generated description: A wooden bench with a cup and a small object on it is situated in a grassy backyard, flanked by a fence and a compost bin, with a pair of blue slippers on the ground in front.

Mum had her friendly neighbourhood gardener attach the two blocks of wood to the bench feet to raise it up so she could get on and off.

She then decided she didn’t want the bench after all, but it was too high to sit on comfortably for anyone else.

The blocks were attached with numerous long screws. Some came out. Some didn’t.

Having learnt from my earlier tortuous experience fitting a new toilet seat (full story still to come), I knew the best way to remove the remaining screws was to saw them off.

And (now I knew where it was) my trusty saw did the business right down until the last screw (it’s always the last screw).

I just couldn’t cut the last screw!

Of course! My trusty saw was a wood saw, not a hacksaw, and by now it could barely cut through butter (although it would certainly have melted butter, the blade was so hot). It was as blunt as the blocks I was trying to remove.

New hacksaw (and a few days to rest up) later, a couple of strokes of the fresh blade did the trick.

Now the bench is frankly a little low, but at least my bare feet can touch grass.


Auto-generated description: A quiet residential street features parked cars, green trees, and houses under a clear sky at sunset.

Finally some positive news: I managed to buy and replace the headlamp and brake lamp on my car all by myself without freezing to death or stabbing myself with a spanner.

Bunk beds built.

Two happy kids on their new bunk beds

This morning, and quite possibly this afternoon, I will mostly be assembling a flat pack ‘shorty’ bunk bed ensemble for the kids.

Well, the super secure new lock on our super expensive new front door failed catastrophically today.

I couldn’t get my key out of the lock. We couldn’t lock the door.

The local locksmith arrived within fifteen minutes, diagnosed the problem (“you need a new lock, £180”) and proceeded to spend the best part of an hour removing the broken extra secure lock (finally, reminiscent of the birth of my second son, “it’s out, I’ll have to charge a bit extra…”).

£265!!!

Thankfully the lock is under warranty, but not the labour.