These are my last words writing from the café at the local leisure centre where I go every Wednesday during term time as a parent volunteer for my son’s swimming class. It’s their final session today.
\nMy lad has gone from being so anxious about swimming that he didn’t want to go at all, to wanting to go for swimming lessons now the class sessions are over.
\nThe café that was closed has reopened, although I still haven’t bought anything. They have new tables and chairs, too, which is nice.
\nIt’s been something a personal journey for me, too. Having an hour or so in relatively undisturbed peace and quiet just to write whatever comes into my head (and publish to my micro.blog) has felt very therapeutic. I feel like something significant has changed within me, for the better.
\nI can’t say what, exactly, for a number of reasons, not in public. Maybe another time.
\nI’m also wondering if it’s a permanent change, or if it will all unravel. And I’m also feeling some sense of loss. Something that has been a part of me for a long time has gone. Even though it had an overall bad effect on my life, it was a regular companion. It won’t be missed, exactly, but it takes some getting used to, it not being here.
\nI’ll need to find somewhere else to write.
\n", "date_published": "2024-02-07T18:26:00+01:00", "url": "https://davidmarsden.info/2024/02/07/last-words.html", "tags": ["Swimming Pool Writer"] }, { "id": "http://davidmarsden.micro.blog/2023/12/13/thriving.html", "title": "Thriving?", "content_html": "My son’s school’s Thrive teacher is leaving. She helped transform my lad’s experience of school from being one where he had weekly if not daily challenges with regulating his emotions and his behaviour, to one where he enjoys school every day. She’s going to be very greatly missed.
\nI managed to tell her this today and thank her for her work. It was so sad to hear her story.
\nShe has committed ten years of her life to helping our youngsters get the best start in life, and done lots of extra work getting accredited to do so. But, at the end of the day, she can no longer afford to continue, and has taken a job elsewhere in sales and marketing.
\nWhat a stupid, shit country we live in.
\n", "date_published": "2023-12-13T16:43:00+01:00", "url": "https://davidmarsden.info/2023/12/13/thriving.html", "tags": ["Swimming Pool Writer"] }, { "id": "http://davidmarsden.micro.blog/2023/12/06/teachers.html", "title": "Teachers", "content_html": "Yesterday morning, I was sat in the foyer of my little kid’s children’s centre waiting for the staff to arrive so he could start his day. He was eager to get in, banging on the locked doors to the main part of the nursery. In my day, the kids would be trying to get out, not in.
\nSome other parents, younger than me, commented the same. Everyone recounted some particularly, sadistic child-hating teacher who regularly brutalised them or some other poor unfortunate during their formative years.
\nWe’re lucky that teachers today seem to be so much friendlier, and supportive, and tolerant of differences and behavioural challenges. And generally just miles better teachers and humans.
\nThere were exceptions, of course. I had one teacher in particular, who would have fitted right in with contemporary teachers (although probably not, actually, as he was a bit of a contrarian). But he was a great teacher, loved kids, and dedicated his life to teaching.
\nIt always amazes me, though, when I see old school friends on Facebook reminiscing about some teacher we had, about how wonderful they were. Most of them were drunken bullies, whose hobbies revolved around making kids miserable and causing physical and mental harm.
\nThey’d be locked up now.
\n", "date_published": "2023-12-06T17:24:00+01:00", "url": "https://davidmarsden.info/2023/12/06/teachers.html", "tags": ["Swimming Pool Writer"] }, { "id": "http://davidmarsden.micro.blog/2023/11/20/toryboy.html", "title": "ToryBoy", "content_html": "ToryBoy The Movie is the account of filmmaker John Walsh’s disillusionment with what he saw as the corruption, lies, hypocrisy and general incompetence of Blair’s Labour government, and his conversion to the Conservative (Tory) Party general election candidate for Middlesbrough in 2010.
\nUnder his own steam and £15,000 of his own money, John found his opponent, Sir Stuart Bell, the serial incumbent Labour MP, invisible and unknown to his local constituents who nevertheless voted him back in every four or five years (albeit with an ever diminishing majority). Bell was too busy, it seemed, living in Paris, and employing his family not to answer phone calls at his parliamentary office. Worse, his son stole £8,000 worth of stuff from Bell’s parliamentary colleagues, eventually serving sixty days in prison for the privilege.
\nDespite this record of failure, Bell was duly elected again, with Walsh coming in third behind the newly Nick Clegg-revitalised Lib Dems.
\nLast year, I had my own attempt to counter what I (and many others) saw as corruption, lies, hypocrisy and general incompetence of our local elected councillors. Standing as independent candidates, me and my two friends came fourth in the safest Labour ward in Ealing. It was good fun campaigning, and I enjoyed the physical activity of walking almost every street in my ward dropping leaflets, and the social activity of actually talking to people in person. And we helped to reduce Labour’s vote share and majority (not that it makes any difference to the result).
\nStill, people voted in their thousands for two councillors who have been in post for twenty four years each, while the problems everyone complains about are the same but worse.
\nUltimately, it was another failure to add to my CV.
\n", "date_published": "2023-11-20T15:35:00+01:00", "url": "https://davidmarsden.info/2023/11/20/toryboy.html", "tags": ["Southall Stories","Swimming Pool Writer"] }, { "id": "http://davidmarsden.micro.blog/2023/11/08/break-in-transmission.html", "title": "Break in Transmission", "content_html": "Last week’s swimming lesson was cancelled, and the week before that, we went away for half-term. To a very wet and wild north-east Lincolnshire right by the sea (or the Humber Estuary). With no wifi, and very poor data connectivity. In a tin can caravan.
\nBut we all had fun, and the kids got to spend time with their grandparents who live nearby. And use their wifi.
\nOn the night before we left I met up with a couple of my oldest and best friends, Murray and Aaron, who I hadn’t seen for ten (Aaron) and thirty (!) (Murray) years. It was really great to have a couple of pints and talk shit with them, just like the old days, as if it was only yesterday.
\n", "date_published": "2023-11-08T17:58:00+01:00", "url": "https://davidmarsden.info/2023/11/08/break-in-transmission.html", "tags": ["Swimming Pool Writer"] }, { "id": "http://davidmarsden.micro.blog/2023/10/23/getting-dressed.html", "title": "Getting Dressed", "content_html": "My three and a half year old is going through that stage where he doesn’t want to get dressed in the morning to go to nursery.
\nI remember with my oldest lad some mornings I used to be in tears trying to get him ready.
\nFortunately, their mum is now working from home and has taken on this task with the little one. My main job now is to remind my nine year old to “sit at the table and eat your breakfast” every two minutes.
\nUp until a couple of weeks ago, my secondary role was as assistant little kid dresser. I would sit him on my knee with one arm around his chest holding his arms down, while trying to hold a leg or a foot so that his mum could forcibly put on his underpants, socks and trousers without him kicking or pulling them off again.
\nMum has now found a much more kid-friendly method, with no tears.
\nUnderpants are now butterflies, fluttering around looking for somewhere to land. Socks, of course, make great foot-puppets. Trousers are caterpillars crawling on a tree branch, and his coat is a big brown bear who just wants a hug.
\nIt’s still exhausting, but it makes the morning a little bit happier for everyone.
\n", "date_published": "2023-10-23T10:00:00+01:00", "url": "https://davidmarsden.info/2023/10/23/getting-dressed.html", "tags": ["Kids","Swimming Pool Writer"] }, { "id": "http://davidmarsden.micro.blog/2023/10/20/haircut.html", "title": "Haircut", "content_html": "My nine year old had a trim the other day. No one else can really tell, but his massive afro isn’t quite so massive as it was last week, and certainly a little less knotted.
\nShould make it easier to get his swimming cap on.
\nHis mum cuts his hair. We took him to a barber’s when he was younger, and I literally had to hold him down while the barber did his work.
\nI never liked having my hair cut. I used to have very thick curly hair as a boy, although not an afro. My mum used to use what she called thinning scissors, which were kind of like scissors with teeth. It felt like having my hair pulled out.
\nI think as kids we’re just so much more sensitive to all these things. And my lad’s hair is a core part of his identity. (When he was younger, he used to identify as a lion, so his hair was his mane.)
\nI managed to overcome my fear of hair cutting as an adult, and even found a reliable barber pre-covid. Since the pandemic, like many others, I bought a pair of clippers and do it myself now.
\n", "date_published": "2023-10-20T12:55:00+01:00", "url": "https://davidmarsden.info/2023/10/20/haircut.html", "tags": ["Kids","Swimming Pool Writer"] }, { "id": "http://davidmarsden.micro.blog/2023/10/18/catwoman.html", "title": "Catwoman", "content_html": "Last week, we had a visitor.
\nCatwoman appeared, to save the day!
\nAll the way from leafy Surrey, she turned up in her Porsche 4x4 and catsuit to catch our community cats and take them to the vet “because they have cat flu”.
\nWith her ten year old assistant, and cat trap, she tried for (what seemed like) hours to catch a cat, or a kitten, to no avail.
\n", "date_published": "2023-10-18T14:48:50+01:00", "url": "https://davidmarsden.info/2023/10/18/catwoman.html", "tags": ["Kids","Southall","Swimming Pool Writer"] }, { "id": "http://davidmarsden.micro.blog/2023/10/17/coffeejack.html", "title": "Too Much Pressure", "content_html": "Inevitably, as I sit here in the cafe next to my son’s swimming lesson, unable to drink coffee because the cafe is permanently closed, my mind wanders and starts thinking about coffee.
\nFor most of my adult life, I’ve started the day with a cup of tea. Regular English breakfast tea. PG Tips, Tetley. Milk and sugar.
\nTea was always my preferred drink, but I did like a cup of instant coffee or two later in the morning, but only if it was one I liked. I wasn’t fond of Nescafe or the other regular blends.
\nA few years ago, I switched to Rooibos (redbush) tea, and never went back. I also started appreciating real coffee made in a French press, and later got my own Aeropress. What really sealed the coffee deal, was discovering fresh coffee beans that aren’t burnt (Pact Coffee).
\nAbout three years ago, I backed a Kickstarter campaign to build an affordable, portable espresso maker, CoffeeJack.
\nNow, I’m not one of those people who backs a lot of these types of things, although it wasn’t my first or last. I understand that it’s not like ordering from Amazon or anywhere else. You’re backing a project with money in the hope that it’s successful and that you end up with a product that works as described. There’s no guarantee.
\nNow, CoffeeJack delivered about three years after they got my money. Which is a long time! They had lots of problems along the way, including, of course, the covid pandemic. So fair play to them for getting their project finished at all. And it was worth the wait, in my opinion. They produced exactly what they promised, and for six months I had two cups a day of the best coffee I’ve ever tasted.
\nSadly, just when I thought I’d cracked it, I cracked the bayonet on my CoffeeJack. Too much pressure, to quote The Selector.
\n", "date_published": "2023-10-17T10:52:00+01:00", "url": "https://davidmarsden.info/2023/10/17/coffeejack.html", "tags": ["Swimming Pool Writer"] }, { "id": "http://davidmarsden.micro.blog/2023/10/16/impossible-job.html", "title": "Impossible Job", "content_html": "Last week, my boss asked me to produce a professional looking ten page job profile for a potential new appointment.
\nHe provided me with an example from another employer, and asked me to use the same format.
\nHe wanted me to find some suitable photographs “online” to use.
\nThis was all outside of his skillset.
\nAnd mine.
\nHe wanted it “by tomorrow” (Wednesday), and gave me the text he’d written for the first page, as well as the headings he wanted to use for the remaining pages.
\nThe formatted example he’d given me was a pdf. I was very pleased to discover that Adobe now provides a free pdf to Word conversion, which certainly made my job easier.
\nIt was easy enough to find photographs, of course, but not so much photographs that are free to use. My boss later told me he wasn’t worried about that, as he “wasn’t using them for commercial purposes.”
\nThe next day (Wednesday), my boss emailed to say he would send me the final nine pages of text he still hadn’t written “tomorrow morning” (Thursday), and that “we” would “populate” the template document then.
\nWhile I was eating lunch the next day (Thursday), his email arrived leaving me two hours to put the whole thing together. I didn’t think it would be enough time, but just got on with it.
\nTwo hours later, I still had two pages to do, but had to collect my kids from nursery and school, make their tea (or dinner, as they call it), and get them in the bath. I managed to finish it later while they watched TV.
\nMy boss was very pleased, although he said he didn’t expect anyone would actually see it.
\n", "date_published": "2023-10-16T09:48:00+01:00", "url": "https://davidmarsden.info/2023/10/16/impossible-job.html", "tags": ["Work","Swimming Pool Writer"] }, { "id": "http://davidmarsden.micro.blog/2023/10/12/community-cats.html", "title": "Community Cats", "content_html": "Just around the corner from my lad’s school by the canal is a cul-de-sac which is home to some “community cats”.
\nHaving spoken to a few of the people who live there, it seems that none of the seven or eight cats and kittens have homes or owners, but are looked after by the people who live there.
\nSo they’re not strays, but they’re not feral, either. They’re community cats.
\nThese cats have been around for as long as I can remember (which admittedly isn’t so long these days), but it’s only in the last few weeks that they have become of growing interest to my lad and some of his friends on their way to and from school.
\nWhat started off as simply “aw, look there’s a cat”, has now become a financial investment in daily supplies of cat food, and extra time in the morning and afternoon to stop, feed and stroke Tab, Abby, Popcorn, Tiny, Smoky, Toffee and one or two others I can’t remember the names of.
\nI made the mistake of sharing a few photos of these cats with my cat obsessed mother, who was very upset that they don’t have warm, dry homes and owners who overfeed them with specially bought and cooked fish. I’ve tried to reassure her that they look healthy (shiny coats), well-fed and looked after.
\n", "date_published": "2023-10-12T09:05:00+01:00", "url": "https://davidmarsden.info/2023/10/12/community-cats.html", "tags": ["Kids","Southall","Swimming Pool Writer"] }, { "id": "http://davidmarsden.micro.blog/2023/10/09/play-street.html", "title": "Play Street", "content_html": "We used to play in the street outside our home as kids growing up in the 70s. In rural Lincolnshire. Of course, it wasn’t a main road, it was the road on our council estate. Pretty much everyone had a car, and many of the houses had their own garage.
\nIn London, or Greater London, it’s generally not safe for kids to play in the street, although we’re lucky where we are that our little cul-de-sac can double-up as a relatively safe enough play area most of the time.
\nThe road next to us is an HGV Access Road, thanks to our local ward councillor and current council leader.
\nIt’s definitely NOT safe for kids to play in at all.
\nNot until the Water Company came along. For the past two or three weeks, they have closed part of the road where my sons' friends live to clear the pipes of wet wipes, sanitary products, fat and oil.
\nThey’ve dug a massive hole in the road, which I’ve told my nine year old is The Pit of Tartarus. It’s all barricaded off, with heavy machinery, waste skips and various bits of equipment.
\nSo the road is now a no through road, with access only for residents and deliveries.
\nMy kids and their friends have really enjoyed playing out in the street whenever they can, thanks also to our “Indian Summer”.
\nOf course, there are plenty of drivers who ignore (or don’t see?) the signs telling them the road is closed, and drive down it anyway. My job was mostly to tell them, “No, you can’t drive on the pavement. Can’t you see there are kids playing? Plus, it’s a pavement. This isn’t the Wild West!”
\nFortunately, everyone was reasonable enough when challenged to back away, turnaround and drive around following the “diverted traffic” signs.
\nThankfully, my job was made redundant by the older kids in the group, who took it upon themselves to relieve me of my onerous duties. They barricaded the pavements with spare cones, and now they marshall the traffic. Much more effective!
\n", "date_published": "2023-10-09T12:00:00+01:00", "url": "https://davidmarsden.info/2023/10/09/play-street.html", "tags": ["Kids","Southall","Swimming Pool Writer"] }, { "id": "http://davidmarsden.micro.blog/2023/10/06/class.html", "title": "Class", "content_html": "Thinking about Maths at school, got me thinking about the origin and meaning of class.
\nIt’s a classic word, and means so many different things depending on the context in which it’s used.
\nIts Roman origin relates to the dividing up of society, or groups of people for war or military objectives.
\nMy Latin teacher at school was obsessed with lining up the desks and chairs at the end of each lesson.
\n“Caecilius pater est” is the only Latin I can remember.
\nWe rebelled, and persuaded our headteacher to teach us Classics in Translation instead. That was fun. Reading, and learning all about ancient Greek philosophy and mythology.
\n", "date_published": "2023-10-06T13:37:00+01:00", "url": "https://davidmarsden.info/2023/10/06/class.html", "tags": ["Politics","Swimming Pool Writer"] }, { "id": "http://davidmarsden.micro.blog/2023/10/04/distraction.html", "title": "Distraction ", "content_html": "It’s easy to get distracted.
\nMy nine year old told his mum last night that he was so distracted by thoughts in his head at school that the teacher gave him a blank piece of paper and a pen to “download” everything in his mind.
\nAll he could think about was Super Mario and Nintendo.
\nWell, it was Maths.
\nI always liked Maths at school. Mainly because there was no homework, or writing, or revision to do. Either I knew it or I didn’t. And I mostly did, up until A Levels.
\nMy “Pure Maths” teacher told me I would never amount to anything. I guess he was right about that.
\nMy “Applied Maths” teacher tried to make lessons more memorable by telling us a story about a man who grew jellies in his garden. I guess he was right about that.
\nI got a B grade in O Level Maths. If I’d actually made any kind of effort I could probably have got an A. Things could have been oh so different!
\n", "date_published": "2023-10-04T15:25:31+01:00", "url": "https://davidmarsden.info/2023/10/04/distraction.html", "tags": ["Kids","Swimming Pool Writer"] }, { "id": "http://davidmarsden.micro.blog/2023/10/02/noodle.html", "title": "The Swimmer", "content_html": "My nine year old is on week three of his school swimming lessons.
\nPrior to the first lesson, he was very anxious about getting his hair wet, and getting his nose under the water. This, despite the fact that he absolutely loved the sea and the pool on our holiday last month (and last year, and the year before that).
\nWe bought him a swimming cap, which everyone has to wear in any case. He’s got massive natural afro hair, so the first three swimming caps we bought were too small.
\nHe was very anxious about putting on his swimming cap for the lessons. I said I would help him, as I would be there, but of course, that never happened as they all just marched straight into the changing rooms leaving me alone with my coffee-free café.
\nFortunately, one of the teaching staff helps him with his cap.
\nSo he keeps his hair dry. And after the second lesson last week, he came home and informed us that:
\nThe school asked for a parent to volunteer to accompany the children to their weekly swimming class.
\nThey said I could sit in the café and drink coffee. No swimming required. I volunteered.
\nI’m basically a fourth chaperone, in addition to the three teaching staff. I simply accompany the children to their swimming class, and back.
\nThe class teacher gave me the two page risk assessment to read on the first morning, and I’ve taken it upon myself to stand either at the back of the line of kids, or in the middle, depending on where there is a gap of supervising adults. I try to act as a human shield on zebra crossings.
\nThat’s it.
\nWhile the kids are having their swimming lesson, I sit in the adjacent café (which is permanently closed, by the way) with my distraction-free writing device. I get an hour a week now to write in peace. It’s wonderful.
\n", "date_published": "2023-09-29T11:17:00+01:00", "url": "https://davidmarsden.info/2023/09/29/human-shield.html", "tags": ["Kids","Swimming Pool Writer"] }, { "id": "http://davidmarsden.micro.blog/2023/09/20/the-door.html", "title": "The Door", "content_html": "The door was old, but it still functioned as a door. It opened and closed, and kept us safe and warm.
\nAs it got older, it got a bit cranky and quirky.
\nThe spring-loaded closing mechanism no longer worked as it should. If you were a small person, a cat or a delivery driver, you had to beware this big old heavy door slamming shut whether you were in, out, or somewhere in between.
\nSometimes the lock wouldn’t work at all and you had to hope there was someone inside who would let you in. Mostly, it required a certain knack to unlock it. Which kept kids out, and ensured extra exercise for grown-ups getting up off the sofa to let kids in.
\nOne day, the housing association’s sub-contractors came to take our door away. It was a fire safety hazard, according to a very expensive risk assessment they carried out several years ago in the wake of the Grenfell Fire.
\nThey came, they saw(ed), they removed our old door in five minutes flat, leaving a gaping hole.
\nThe new door is sleek and fancy.
\n“It’s a like for like replacement,” they said.
\n“Hmmm… the handle is on the right hand side,” I said.
\n“And the door opens to the left not the right.”
\n“I’m very unhappy,” said my wife.
\n“It’s not magnetic,” said my nine year old.
\n“Where’s they keyhole?” my three year old didn’t say, but the question must surely have been going through his mind as he tried to unlock the door on the wrong (right) side with the new key.
\n![\"My](\"https://eu.uploads.micro.blog/2588/2023/pxl-20230917-102530130.portrait2.jpg\")
\n",
"date_published": "2023-09-20T13:17:36+01:00",
"url": "https://davidmarsden.info/2023/09/20/the-door.html",
"tags": ["Kids","Swimming Pool Writer"]
}
]
}