Another Url, Another Planet

Rather than just sit idly by from the comfort of my western sofa (made in China?) and passively watch world events unfold on my computer screen (made in Taiwan), I decided to do something. I was also rather worried about standing accused of not doing my bit by Jan Wildeboer (seemingly made backwards in Holland like the cheese).

So, with my brain (made in the UK), my authentic fake Harmony Sovereign acoustic guitar (made in Korea), my Samson microphone (made in the USA?) and the lovely free software Audacity I decided last night to re-write Billy Bragg's lyrics to Waiting For The Great Leap Forwards (as Bragg often does himself to reflect current times) and this morning I recorded my version of his classic song, which is a long-time favourite of mine. I've been privately playing and singing my own version of it for several years, so you'd think I'd be better at it by now. But in mitigation, I wasn't allowed to learn to play the violin when I was eight years old because I was told I was tone deaf and when I was fifteen my then headmaster at school refused to allow me to sing The Streets Of London in assembly because I was singing flat. I also have a disability when it comes to remembering song lyrics and I almost always fall to pieces when confronted with a microphone and a the prospect of an audience. My version is also a little slower (and therefore longer) than the original. So you have been warned!

So here's my rendition:

We’re not going on our Winter holidays in the sun, cries crony Blair ‘Cos on the Sixth of October highway leading on to Tahrir Square BJ Clinton’s missus spies a rich friend who's crying Over Luxor's disappointments so she talks over and she's trying To sympathise with him But she thinks that she should warn him That the USA can't stop this revolution

In the Middle Eastern states the citizens demand To know why they're still the target of Strategic Air Command And they shake their fists in anger And respectfully suggest That we fuck off and let them sell their own oil instead

The Iraq War now is over, but the death toll keeps getting higher I'm scared to death of suicide bombers and frightened of friendly fire And I don't believe we can ever win An endless War of Terror While our politicians are arms dealers

From folk protest to popular product*, I wonder what my use is I text a friend, my homeopath and my antipodean masseuses While looking undercover For anyone who might be listening I'm looking for a News of the World reporter

Music sales are hijacked by pirates that have posted Even after closing Wikileaks their website is re-hosted You can be active with the activists or Get bed bugs with the Tweeters I'm waiting for the great leap forwards

One leap forwards, two leaps back Will Facebook get me in the sack? Waiting for the great leap forwards

Well, here comes the future and you can't change it If you've got a blacklist I don't wanna be on it Waiting for the great leap forwards

It's a mighty long way from rock and roll Singing songs in your bedroom while signing on the dole Waiting for the great leap forwards

If no one out there understands Just walk like an Egyptian and fill out the claim forms Waiting for the great leap forwards

In a perfect world we'd all sing in tune But this is virtual reality, we just use auto-tune Waiting for the great leap forwards

So join the struggle while you may The revolution is just a podcast away Waiting for the great leap forwards

*Line ripped from the title of my old mate and bass master Aaron's dissertation on popular music, culture and ideology 'From Protest To Product'.

Special thanks must go to Tone Deaf Music without whose brilliant customer service in replacing my broken bridge pins none of this would have been possible. They also do a fabulous range of Spongebob Squarepants guitars, so when the revolution is over and you've finished watching The Story Of Stuff to find out where all your stuff comes from and goes (and at what cost), you can go out an treat yourself.

P.S.

In the name of Freedom, here is the song in Ogg format: Waiting For The Great Leap Forwards (alternative version)